THE FINALE EPISODE : DIARY OF AN EMOTIONAL FOOL :)

DIARY OF AN EMOTIONAL FOOL

 OHKAY SO THIS WAS UNEXPECTED…but ashima was actually keeling down on her knees…..

“ashima…get up what are u doing?” I couldn’t conceal my smile

“arjun….just shut up for once okay…m trying to apologize for all the siyappa I hve created in ur life…”she genuinely said

“its okay…dear , no need at all..its not a big issue…get up”

“are u going to shut up or shall I call Pikachu?”she threatened

“u are a good blackmailer” I smiled and kept my hand on my chin…”okay continue the Pikachu owner”

“yeah that’s better…okay so here is it…from the day we met there have been just misunderstandings and mishappenings only…i suspected u to stare at me….almost killed u in a car break..made Pikachu defecate on u..crying n the office …dude the list is endless, though u staring through my shirt was for real…”she smiled flirtatiously.

“hey….look its okay..i already have loads of people to create havoc in life….see AND I TOOK OUT MY PHONE TO SHOW HER MY DAD :P

She started laughing real hard…

“yeah yeah make fun of my misery…..”I sighed…”now please get up” I requested

“acha na” [CAN I JUST TELL THIS GIRL THAT HER EVERY NAA IS FREAKING ME OUT…MAN ITS SUPER SEXY]

As soon as she was about to get up I heard someone call me

“saale kutte arjun, green mango,bc ……”

IT WAS RAVI….BUT WHY THE HELL WAS HE HERE? IT WAS MY ONLY CHANCE WITH ASHIMA ..AND AB YE NAYA SIYAPPA!

BUT BEFORE I COULD RECOVER, ASHIMA WENT INTO DEEP SHOCK

“ravi?” what the fk….what are u doing here?”

“I guess I should ask what u are doing here , and why are u kneeling…wtf is going on ASHU!”

DAMN IT….ASHU? ASHU!!!....ASHIMA WAS ASHU…..RAVIS EX GIRLFRIEND WHO JUST BROKE UP WITH HIM A WEEK AGO…..AND ….OH GOD ….BHAI KYA DUSHMANI HAI MUJSE..LADKI MILNE SE PEHLE YA TO USKI SHAADI KRWADETE HO YA KISI KI EX BANA DETE HO..KYU BHAGWAN KYUUUU!!!!...

“ravi …..its nothing as it seems …”ashima got up quickly

“really?  2 days back u were all like u cheated on me…how could u do this that beleh!...and now what ? han? Mere hi best friend ko phassa liya

KUTTE JA MARRJA SAALE…TUNE DEO USE KRNE K YE BADLA NIKALA…I WANTED TO SAY BUT KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT FROM BEING  MURDERED

“ravi, first of all I am not proposing arjun….and second of all I am not ur gf anymore…so buzz off..i can do whatever I want to” she made him shut

AB KYUKI ISS BAAT P SALE K MUH KHULA NHI SO MERE PE BOMB PHODNE CHALA

“arjun bhai, tujhe bhai mana tha yar”

“saale to maine tujhe konsa kaam wala bai mana hai…tu bhi bhai h…bt u never made me meet ashima , I mean ur ashu, howcome I am supposed to know that both are the same person!” I replied

“bhai ye sahi nhi hua….ye ladki ki wajah se maine tujhpe shak kiya…I am sorry” THANK GOD ISKA UPSC K RESULT MERE HAATHON PASS NIKALA WARNA SAALE NE UDAA DENA THA MUJHE

“ITS okay yaar, acha ill just be back from the washroom, u guys sort out till then” I said

“u are going to the washroom?” ashima asked

“yess…” I replied confusingly

“why” she enquired BHAI AB INSAAN HUGNE BHI NAHI JAA SKTA.. ITNA DRAMA HONE K BAAD TO KSI KI BHI LAG SAKTI HAI…M TO NORMAL MBA ENGINEER HUN …LAGNE KI ADAT WAISE HI HAI…HOW DUMB OF U ASHIMA BABY…OH…RAVI KI ASHU

“what why? Why are u going to the washroom?”

“TO OPEN THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS! AND THEN TO JUMP FROM THE LONDON BRIDGE…WANNA JOIN ?” I was getting annoyed now….

“look guys…this is it …I am never ever gonna see the 2 of u in my life ever again…arjun u have been a good friend bt m sorry this is really awkward “ and taking her Gucci black bag, she left.

“gayi kamini….chal bhai drink pila” ravi said

“saale kutte….khud to chance maara nahi mera bhi chance le liya…marr le” I was full of rage

“chodh na bhai..waise bhi kal Amritsar jaa raha hai tu, ab shaadi krwadenge tere ghar wale….m kitna miss krunga tujhe”

“obviously ull miss me bro…daaru ke paise kon bharega? Haiana!” I commented sarcastically

And after a few shots we went home cursing girls for tsunamis and earthquakes and disrupting the global economy! Ravi even drew a brilliant picture explaining everything in just 2 words

The next morning I handed over my keys to ravi who was begging me not to get married

“bhai phas jaega….ye arranged marriages bas 4 saal achi lagti hai..40 saal baad maut ayegi…fir krega bhai ko yaad” ravi said

“saale maine konsa haan bol dena hai pehli ladki ko..dont worry…chal bye bro..daru pee khush reh” SEE WE BOUS DON’T EVEN BOTHER TO SAY TAKE CARE COZ WE KNOW KI BHAI NE KARNA WAHI HAI JO SOCHA HAI…HAD THERE BEEN A GIRL IN PLACE…ALL THE NATAK DRAMA WOULD HAVE TAKEN PLACE FROM PRE FAREWELL BASH TO POST GRIEF MOURNING TO “AWW BABY I MISSU TK CARE” STATUSES!! BULLSHIT

I reached Amritsar only to face an over enthusiastic mom who was all about”haye mera munda kitna sukda hogaya hai” and a detective dad who was trying to figure out how much more money was I gonna ask this time

“or beta ji, dukaan pe kab baithna hai” dad said over a cup of tea and marrie biscuits

“dad, not again please….”

“arre mera puttar itne time baad aya hai…chain ki saans to lene do” and my mom defended me….

WAIT! WHAT? MY MOM DEFENDED ME?? SOMETHINGS FISHY……

“jaa puttar haath muh dhoke tayaar hojaa…some guests are coming over”

“guests?” I suspiciously asked

“arre sawal na pooch jyada….jaa jaldi se fresh hojaa” mom ordered

“hanji ..going”

As I came out of the shower my mom made me wear her favourite shirt …the check stripes one….FUCK

“MOM? Whos sitting outside?

“beta, ab bada ho gaya hai..bua ki friend ki ladki hai….soni hai…ek baar mil le…”

“MOM I TOLD U …I AM NOT GONNA GET MARRIED ESPECIALLY ARRANGED BY YOU GUYS”

“Beta sooraj nikal aya hai…din me shubh bolte hain”

SOORAJ ? SERIOUSLY? SO IF THE DAMN SUN HAS DECIDED TO COME WHAT DOES SHE WANT ME TO DO ? PHOTOSYNTHESIS?!!

“tujhe meri kasam ek  baar mil le ….”

“okay” I gave in

As I went outside pretending to be a stud that I actually wasn’t…..I FROZE….I LITERALLY FROZE AND IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE AUDIENCE OF MAMA CHACHA AND THEIR NIKKE NIKKIS ALL I COULD SAY OUT LOUD WAS “F##K”

WHAT THE HELL? ASHIMA WAS SITTING THERE , BLOODY HELL…SHE WAS THE BRIDE?...I MEAN LAST NIGHT ONLY…..WTF…HOW MORE FILMY CAN MY STORY GET?

Ashima looked at me and calmly concealing her face of horror said like a sabhaya kudi “hi, arjun” and smiled [UFF, JAANLEVA SMILE…HAYE!]

“Hi ashima?” I replied confusingly

“hehehehe…..jao beta , jao….arjun…ashima ko ghar dikhao tab tak hum bade baat krlete hain” my dad let out his nervous laughter

GHAR DIKHAO? HES KIDDING RIGHT…KYA GHAR DIKHAUN…JO 10 SECONDS ON FOOT KHATAM HOJATA HAI!!

“Come ashima….”

And we went outside in the garden…

“WHAT THE HELL, YOU KNEW THAT?” I demanded an answer

“OBVIOUSLY NOT” she freaked out as well

So , it was all destiny…..and here through all the fights, coincidences and misunderstandings we stood ….looking at each other in shock and I don’t know about her but mere mann me to definitely ladooo photo rahe the…

“arjun? So u wanna get married?” she asked

“ I am contemplating” I gave out a little laugh

“you love me?”

“woahh….girl u are fast?”

THIS QUESTION OF HER HAD A DIFFERENT SORT OF EMOTIONS…..MY HEART SAID ONE THING AND MY WALLET SAID OTHER….

“its simple….either u want me or you don’t want me…..choice is urs” she said

AB ISS PAGLI KO KON SAMJHAE…PYAAR SABKO CHAHIYE HOTA HAI…BAS GIRLS WANT THE YASH RAJ WALA PYAAR AND GUYS WANT THE MAHESH BHATT WALA ….:P

“What are u thinking?” she asked

“I ws just thinking that bhagawan kuch logon ko itna sundar banata hai ki unhe dekhke hi lagta hai ki bc reject hone k liye hi bane hain”

“well thanku for the flirt but it still doesn’t answer….u want to get married?” she pestered with the same thing again and again

“look ashima, I cant say yes immediately, give me some time to think” and suddenly we heard mom calling us out

“so beta kya decide kiya?....” dad asked angrily looking at me but appearing to be somewat subtle in his tone..

“uncle ji, it’s a yes” ashima said

“exactly “ I said…WAIT? WHAT!!..........THE WHOLE HOUSE WAS NOW BRIMMING WITH JOY AND SWEETS AND BADHAI HO BADHAI HO CONGRATULATARIES AND ALL I COULD DO WAS STAND THERE LIKE A GHOST WHO WASN’T HEARD, UNDERSTOOD OR FELT! I SAW MY PARENTS HUGGING LIKE HAPPY KIDS AS IF MARRYING WAS THE BEST DECISION …OR THE MOST SENSIBLE DECISION I HAD TAKEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE…..

“congrats arjun bhaiya” my cousins said

“hehehehe….thanks…..” I let our an  anxious tone

“ASHIMA ….WHY DID U DO IT?” I WHISPERED ADMIST SIMLES

“ARJUN….I LOVE  YOU” she declared

“that’s really flattering but……man ashima….i asked for some time..”

“only to say yes later…see I skipped the complexities” she said

“you are crazy…” I couldn’t stop myself from smiling

“AND YOU ARE AN EMOTIONAL FOOL” J