SPREAD GENEROSITY AND KINDNESS

Once upon a time, there was a man who was very helpful, kindhearted, and generous. He was a man who will help someone without asking anything to pay him back. He will help someone because he wants to and he loves to.  One day while walking into a dusty road, this man saw a purse, so he picked it up and noticed that the purse was empty. Suddenly a woman with a policeman shows up and gets him arrested.

The woman kept on asking where did he hide her money but the man replied, “It was empty when I found it, Mam.” The woman yelled at him, “Please give it back, It’s for my son’s school fees.”  The man noticed that the woman really felt sad, so he handed all his money.  He could say that the woman was a single mother.  The man said, “Take these, sorry for the inconvenience.”  The woman left and policeman held he man for further questioning.

The woman was very happy but when she counted her money later on, it was doubled, she was shocked.  One day while woman was going to pay her son’s school fees towards the school, she noticed that some skinny man was walking behind her.  She thought that he may rob her, so she approached a policeman standing nearby.  He was the same policeman, who she took along to inquire about her purse.  The woman told him about the man following her, but suddenly they saw that man collapsing.  They ran at him, and saw that he was the same man whom they arrested few days back for stealing a purse.

He looked very weak and woman was confused.  The policeman said to the woman, “He didn’t return your money, he gave you his money that day.  He wasn’t the thief but hearing about you son’s school fees, he felt sad and gave you his money.”  Later, they helped man stand up, and man told the woman, “Please go ahead and pay your son’s school fees, I saw you and followed you to be sure that no one steals your son’s school fees.”   The woman was speechless.

Moral: Life gives you strange experiences, sometime it shocks you and sometimes it may surprise you. We end up making wrong judgments or mistakes in our anger, desperation and frustration. However, when you get a second chance, correct your mistakes and return the favor. Be Kind and Generous. Learn to Appreciate what you are given.

KEEP SMILING :)

VALUE YOURSELF BEFORE THE DOOR GETS BLOCKED

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?"

Hands started going up.

He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up.

He then asked, "Who still wants it?"

Still the hands were up in the air.

"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.

He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.
this was the story my mother recited to me and my sister at bedtime [which was weird coz moms eyes always shut more earlier than mine!]

actually what really happened was one day i asked mom what should i do if a friend of mine completely ignores me for no damn reason?
she initially glared at me and then pepped me to tell her the whole thing

so i began......
a year ago i had made an amazing friend....we used to talk for hours on whatsapp and even on the phone...it was mutually enriching too and we both learned and supported each other through all our ups and downs....atleast i did! it was such a beautiful bond that i never wanted it to go away...
both of us were equally caring and concerned for ones well being but of course never leaving an opportunity to tease each other.....
but recently all of that suddenly stopped.....we all go thru such phases...dont we?
i kept on sending the messages....but the other never bothered to even reply back...gradually not wanting to seem desperate [ we all have that feeling where we feel we are giving more into the friendship than the other ...i had the same] i decided to nt make myself stoop more low and very heavy heartedly called off my communication strings!... and now " the extra busy" person did nt even try once to contact me back ......i tell u ...these expectations hurt the most...[ LESSON OF LIFE....JUST  GIVE AS IF ITS UR LAST DAY...WITHOUT ANY EXPECTATION]
so now.....its like 2 strangers with a cherishable past.....
and mom i feel really sad sometimes....after a busy tiring day when i go to sleep ...i think where did i went wrong?...but then the next morning i begin my day as if nothing happened....and this was a conflicting situation.....which is now driving me mad


"princess.....remind me to tell u a story at bedtime:"
"umm...alright"

and then she told me this story and said " baby, when people unintentionally hurt u and have no plans on coming back....dont stoop low for their time....MAINTAIN UR VALUE AS THAT OF THE DOLLAR NOTE.....always remember....keep ur door open for those who want to leave and those who want to return...but blocking ur door with one person is not right princess..."

" but then u miss the person badly...so badly that u tend to block the door...its easier said than done" i complained

" i understand baby but ITS YOU who needs to put in the effort...be it friending...working  or wanting a desirable object or person ....everything starts with U ....its very hard on ur heart initially but with time the pain fades....DONT FORGET STAY STRONG"

"thanks mom.....really"
" night sweetheart....sleep tight"


HOPE....some of u would have gotten the solution to such problems....get over..move on...life is too short to keep the heart aching!
so KEEP SMILING and
KEEP LOVING UR MOM :) [ ofcourse thats different we argue more......hahahaaa]

BRIGHTER THAN THE STARS

BRIGHTER THAN THE STARS                     

                                                                                                                     I observed him carefully as he walked to the door. I knew that the time was running out but suppressed the urge to check my watch. I took a deep breath and started  counting in reverse under my breath , “ten, nine  eight seven…..”

The flight would leave in the next 60 minutes. And if he comes up to me now at this point of time I can guarantee that I will definitely miss my 80000 bucks flight to the US….but I couldn’t avoid him as this man was the reason I was flying first class to my dream destination for higher studies.  So now he comes closer to me and I prepare myself for the 61 minute goodbye speech he had been preparing for the last 3 months since he got to know I received a full scholarship to do my masters.

“sweetheart , I hope you know this is really important for me…..dont let the emotional siyapa ruin it in anyway….dont make me weak” I warned him in advance . I literally hated airports and railway station…no matter what they make you cry always….

“ofcourse I know it…..it wont be 61 minutes long …I promise”

Shit! How come did he knew about the 61 minute thing ….was I pursuing my masters in psychology or he?  Nevertheless I accepted the roses he presented to me which obviously wasn’t my thing but he wouldn’t budge from wasting 500 bucks on the fragranced roses and assorted chocolates

“not the chocolates please……you know I am allergic to them” I made a face

“ would you stop acting oh-I-am-so-foreign-stuff ?” he was now getting really impatient. At the bottom of my heart I somewhere knew that I was seriously doing wrong to him after all the pain he had taken for me just to see me smiling through my dreams , but the sneaky practical mind was slapping me hard on making my amygdale numb , the emotions had always destroyed me in the past…I felt as if my heart was full of emptiness..i couldn’t let him use it against me now , when I was just 23 hours away from my dream.

“you are being so selfish” the angel part in me rebuked . my brain and my heart were acting like magnets..i wanted to stay with him, holding his hand, resting my head on his chest but the other part wanted to be strong and had an urge , a desire to have independent experiences

“oh please that’s what she is supposed to do ….so you buzz off” the devil part woke up instantly.

“ohkay fine….you exactly have 10 minutes before my check in ….do it fast” I said

“so now finally you are going ….but always remember to thank god for whatever he gave you…don’t skip your meals …call me everyday and last but not the least keep smiling” he finished

“stop being so sentimental…ill come back during the holidays,love and I guess I can take care of myself..you see I have been taking street smart classes from the femina personality makeovers” I replied haughtily

“so you think you are smart? Lets see….tell me how many Indian rupees are worth 50 dollars?” he smiled wickedly.

BADASS….OKAY FINE I CONFESS I AM NOT “THAT” SMART ….BUT I DO HAVE A CONVERTER APP IN MY CELL  moreover i have learned vedic math too…see I am a super genius until he  comes up with such lame tests

He saw me fidgeting in my phone and gave out a sly laughter. “I guess you should have taken mathematical classes than personality grooming” he teased me

“are you aware that you are getting on my last nerve” I was losing my temper

“ohkay my princess calm down…I was just joking” …and  he signaled me to open the amazingly wrapped gift box

“I don’t wanna spoil the paper…its way too  cute” I gushed

“shut up and open it,love” he ordered

“yeah…..” I reluctantly gave in…..it was always this thing with us. He would say something and I would deny and exactly after 2 seconds he stares staright into my eyes which I must confess really freaks me out sometimes but then I always give in to his requests. I guess it was an unspoken rule between two of us which we both lovingly followed.

So I opened the box….OH MY GOD…..I DON’T BELIEVE THIS….how could he? I mean why did he? I almost was broken….this was not suppose to happen ….but it was happening ….i wanted to run away but my feet were numb…it was an overwhelming surge of emotions  a ring it was a ring….a beautiful star shaped ring whose diamonds sparkled even brighter than the stars. I almost thought it was all a magical dream which would end ….BUT IT DIDN’T

“don’t get me wrong…I know you and feelings are at par enemies from birth ….its just a token of my love to you …so that everyday you wake up in the morning and realize how precious you are to me…I don’t express it to you doesn’t mean I don’t feel it….i do …I really do.

I was dumbstruck.

He looked into my eyes….i didn’t want him to but anyhow he did…and tears rolled down my cheeks.

I could almost feel the pain that I had been trying to hide from everyone since my appointment letter came. Yes I badly wanted to go and pursue my dreams but not at the cost of leaving my loved ones behind. I hated myself for being so damn selfish and self centered when there were people who could die for me. That was the only reason I asked everyone to make their asses stay at home and not to come and see me off as final goodbyes are hardest to bid…

“and most heart warming too….” AGAIN …was he into some telepathy course ….how was he reading my thoughts….it was scaring me now.

“don’t be scared”

“then stop making me feel so” I giggled in between my sobs

“are you now going to wear the ring …it costed me a heck of grands!”

“absolutely ….i am” and I slide the ring into my finger and admire its shine

FLIGHT 590 –USA ….LAST CALL FOR PASSENGERS TO CHECK IN

“so this is it….”

“make the most of it” he smiled and hugged me.

And honestly I never wanted to pull myself back from that soft hug which had always protected me from the tough life….wiped my fears in the dark….it was the most comforting place I was ever in.The  pain had suddenly evaporated..i knew that even if I would return after a decade that place would still be empty just for me

“I love you” he said

“ I love you too, DAD” and I enter the check in the gate

"STOP DREAMING .....HURRY UP ....ITS 6 ...ULL BE Late" i heard d scream....and there ws my dad irritating me and bringing me back to life from a beautiful fairytale sleep

so.....i guess the fairytales are somewhat to look forward to in life...no matter how old u grow

leave ur comments down in the box:)

KEEP SMILING:)....KEEP LOVING YOUR PARENTS

                                                           

CONFESSIONS

https://youtu.be/L0MK7qz13bU [BEFORE READING IT PLEASE CLICK ON THE LINK]

So here we are.....finally saying goodbye to the wonderful year that 2015 has been....full of roller coaster rides...
but BULLSHIT .....i am being flooded with questions of my new year resolutions....[ i am seriously hoping that i dont make a stupid idiotic one like losing my weight and increasing my height which has disasterously been shattered due to some technical error in 2015]
one of the main reasons i am not so up funky with new years eve is that from my pre primary classes i always begin to mess up with the date ....i continue writing 1st jan 2015 for instance and keep errorneously committing the same mistake till end of july and when i finally get adapted to write my dates correctly ...BULLSHIT the year ends...what am i supposed to do? screw the calendar?!


so today on the 364th day of the year i have decided to do something crazy [ of course i reamain crazy 260 days ...the rest i spend sleeping and dreaming ]......and trust me i have been contemplating on doing this for the past 1 week ...man it really needs tons of guts
MY CURRENT GUT STATUS : READY TO RUN.....UMM -0.001% OF CONFIDENCE
MY CURRENT HEART STATUS; DO IT


HI [ pls ignore...these are certain ego defense mechanisms i am gonna use throughout...]



F##K ...I CANT DO THIS!
BUT I HAVE TO!



okay......here we go



DEAR TANYA[ sorry for not keeping u anonymous]
for the past 20 years we have been together [ yes i know we are 19 but i am counting the time period when we were shitting in moms womb], and trust me it has been a lot of fun.
u and me from the beginning had hit off [ofcourse barring the time when u and i fought which was 99.9% times] where  me being completely outspoken, always going against people, dancing madly on roads, challenging everyone to have a badminton match, but still being  A DELICATE DARLING [oh yes i remember that]....and you being alwys the-namaste- traditional-type-girl with loads of good manners. And being with you has taught me some of the basic etiquettes too ...
ranging from u, me, mahi being together, to mahi leaving us to shed tears wen she went to kolkata to studying together, going to jain stationery, taking ur pen while u were writing coz i always loved ur pens, to making lame excuses like a cow created a jam or a dog was chasing us wenevr we were late for our tuition classes,to u always teaching me maths while i was crying as i had never prepared for that stupid exam......YOU AND ME WERE ALWAYS TOGETHER....it was like we were meant to be .....but then ONE MISTAKE .....ONE MISUNDERSTANDING CHANGED EVERYTHING....

from the past 4 years we are not meow-moti.....but the formal nishtha-tanya....
and thats because u know the reason and i partially know it.....
tanya...i seriously till date have not been able to cope...because i DO NOT KNOW the complete thing....its like we are together but with a line drawn between us and the problem is that we both are equally scared to cross it....arent we?
i agree i might have done something really stupid to make u this mad at me that we dont even look into each others eyes while speaking  but u too were at fault many a times!
and tanya ....just imagine we were inseparable for infinite years[ i still remember my promise to dance at your wedding and urs to organize my 25th birthday as u r the best planner ever] .......we both were always there for each other and i still believe we still have  a soft corner because friendship like ours can never be broken.....we still get anxious for each other....atleast i do

mumma once told me a story.....
a psychologist entered a room with dozens of potatoes and asked the audience to hold a dozen each if somebody had hurt them and to always keep the bag of potatoes wherever they went and see him after 2 days. after two days the clients came back with aching arms, blue black shoulders and twisted fingers as holding a dozen potatoes all the time was not that easy as they thought...
the psychologist heard their complaints and spoke" look how difficult it was to hold potatoes ...think and introspect how difficult it wud have been for u all to carry on the grudges for years!

it made me realize that the burden we both have been carrying is too long....AND I AM GONNA CHANGE...I KNOW MY EGO IS TOO HIGH...4 YEARS ...WOOF!
BUT NOW I AM GONNA LET IT GO.....I CANT HOLD BACK ANYMORE


yahoooooo....i did it..it was not that difficult...and now i feel so light....CONFESSIONS ARE REALLY BLESSINGS IN DISGUISE

i forgive u and i appologize too....i promise to never ask what made u so sorrowful...i want to start over tanya....i am ready to LET IT GO.....
i luv u buddy and please dont cry....I STILLCARE FOR U
and i am writing this today so that u dont cry on 31st.....i want u to come back running to me [ofcourse like srk!] and hugging me ....i will wait....no questions asked
tomorrow night...ill wait for u moti!
I AM SORRY FOR HURTING U

dear nick,mahima,panav,priya and rachita,
u guys have seriously been there thru all my ups and downs...and i am bloodily possessive about u guys!
thanku so so much....and i promise to stuck by u in times of joy and sorrow...u can always count on me and i will make u smile :)



dear all my college n school buddies,nav,dolly, all mamus mamis,didis,chachus,chachis,bros,sis[ okay i am making it hum saath saath hn type ...sorry han]
u guys have tremendously supported my blog pages,ideas and opinions.
had it not been u guys, i would never have gotten d strength to write
luv u all...stay blessseddd


DEAR SHWETA MAAM
i guess this is the most difficult one!
because wherever i am today is all because of you....u are an inspiration to me....
without u i would never have loved psychology
but maam some things are destined ....and whatever happened i know u blame urself ...please dont...it hurts me the most! u r the bestest teacher and will always remain so
i and panav used to fight over carrying ur belongings
u mean alot to me maam
let the past remain in the past....
just give me ur blessings for the future ..i luv u maam and will always do


dear kittu, anu,tanu
u guys are not just family to me but my bestest buddies....
u have tricked me in various pranks but u r my angels ...
the fun , the laughters , the moments i have with u....are priceless
we may fight all day long but at the end of the day its always a happy ending with us sneaking out to nanis kitchen to bring something to eat!
stay beautiful my girls!



FINALLY
TO THE BESTEST PARENTS IN THE WORLD
i say sorry to u 100 times a day ranging from not picking my shoes to watching tv all day to eat all the chocolates all by myself to fight with kittu over a pencil
reasons are multivariate and diverse but i want u to know WITHOUT U I DONT HAVE A LIFE........UR HAPPINESS MEANS ALOT TO ME
ur lessons,love,scoldings, are so precious
I AM INCOMPLETE WITHOUT U
and i am very sure with ur love NOBODY CAN DRAG ME DOWN



so my this year resolution is to mend all the hearts i have intentionally or accidentally hurt
AND I HAVE TAKEN THE FIRST STEP....WHICH WAS ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT ONE...BUT NOW WHEN ITS OVER...I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER


so this new year....lets make a promise to HEAL ALL THE PAST WOUNDS AND START AFRESH.....LETS SPREAD JOY AND KINDNESS.....coz LOVE CAN TRANSFORM IMPERFECTION INTO PERFECTION

HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!
KEEP DREAMING
KEEP WORKING
KEEP SMILING
STAY BLESSED! :)



[ please leave ur comments...or infact y dont u use this platform to confess something u did...stay anonymous..no issue! let it go guys....LETS CONFESS AND MOVE ON]

WHEN COMPASSION OVERPOWERS ANNOYANCE

ola guys...how you all have been? how has life been treating you all?

the scale goes 

1awesome...i am high dude

2great just finished my exams

3fine...bored as hell

4how have i been? you moron i have a boss who is pain in the ass, have my sisters wedding to attend and you have the bloody audacity to ask me how i am?

5 facing 200 wtfs per minute

so whatever ur scale score might say...i gurantee you a stress free zone here...

oh can u hold on please...theres some noise going on, ill just come back ok?

"NO NO NO NOOOOOO, it cant be the nosy chadha uncle again! WHY? is he a sadist mom?"

" shut up princess, speak properly"

" ask him to behave properly, if he has a balcony extended adjacent to ours, then ask that old man to fart inside , he purposely comes at the time wen i drink my horlicks. HE IS A BLOODY SADIST MOM" i cried

"baby you gotta adjust, and moreover he is aged, u need to respect him. say sorry right now" mom chipped

" FINE...but this isnt fair u noe...he gets to sneak around the balcony , allowed to fart with that disastrous smell over which i have used atleast 6 bottles of ambipure, and then not even feeling a tinge of sorry, he smiles back at me with his parantha stuffed mouth"

" princess! i am gonna smack u now if u are gonna keep behaving like this"

" ALRIGHT ..."

the bell rings

" baby open the door"

 #I IGNORE

the bell rings 10 times

" you idiot why arent u opening the door?

[ ok is my mom really looking fwd to an answer by me..fine..its because thru the sheds i saw nosy chadha ji coming up with a bowl in his hand...i m not gonna give him my chocolates this time i swear....oh why does he need chocolates? GOD KNOWS]

" he he he namaste namaste? beta hanger hai?"

" excuse me?" i roll my eyes in bewilderment

" hanger....for the clothes?"

"yeah...but then why have you bought this bowl?"

" oh beta...ye to gangajal hai...drop a few of it on ur head and u will be bestowed with good brains

OMG I AM GONNA KILL THIS UNCLE....GOOD BRAINS? OK FINE..CONTROL...THIS MAN IS AGED...SUFFERING FROM DEMENTIA....CONTROL....DO NOT COMMENT

"here is ur hanger? anything else" i stand with my arms cross folded

" nhi beta ....acha chocolates nhi dogi iss baar"

" arrey she will definitely give...right baby...go get the silk "

MY SILK...OH MY SILK....OK CAN SOMEONE FIND ME A BOOK ON HOW TO TORTURE NOSY NEIGHBOURS

" COME SIT NA UNCLE" my mom invites

rubbish..mom u are inviting a fart bomb...our little home will burst into flames of co2 and ofcourse parso raat ki palak paneer

suddeenly maa sees me carrying a bottle of ambipure and makes me run for my life with the death stare she gives me

bell rings again. my sister glares at me as she saw chadhaji sitting at her spot.....alright i didnt want my spot to be all palak paneery so i made him sit there

thnks to her, i got down and went to the park to get some fresh air.

while walking i saw my friend neha on the phone talking to her boyfriend

" oh i luv u"

" luv u too sugar"

\" aww"

"aww"

"ewwww, stop it neha" 

oblivious to me she jumped around in shock only to find me laughing at her....furiously she showed me her phone screen where her boyfriend was equally concerned as if oh-my-god-is my-barbie-all right-look

"hey punk" i said

" hey" he dryly replied , why wudnt he? i had invaded the i luv u phase 

guys i seriously dont get it ....saying i luv u too after i luv u is like saying JAI MATA DI after someone says SAARE BOLO..hahaaaa

anyways i thought to have a little bit of fun

so i took the left earphone from neha " so punk what plans do u have?

[OH PUNK? his name is pankaj but he gets irritated wen someone calls him that .....idiot!;p]

"hey can u please handover the earphone to my moon"

" moon? are u crazy?

" i mean neha"

" ohhhhhhhhh...mooooooonnnn"

" yes" he blushed

' okay so if neha is ur moon then technically it means u gotta stay 9955886.7 kms away from her"

" who are u?: alien?'

" huh..somebody not as weird as u PANKAJ" I WAS in full mood to piss my friends off

" arre babaji ..why getting angry...and u live two blocks away...come...lets have a badminton match" i challenged him as i have always done from my childhood

" whats with babaji?"

" arre budhu! if husbands are parmeshwars to tu to boyfriend hai...unko babaji ka darza diya jaa skta hai" i succeeded in irritating him

" buzz off alien! pj"

"u alien"

" u"

" u" 

so before the fight cud begin again neha snatched the phone and told him jai mata di .oh i mean iluv u too and came back to me ...finally!

" why are u pestering me? is chadha uncle at ur place again?"

" hmm....hes farting again"

out of nowhere we hear a screeching sound......as we looked back i saw someone fighting with chadha uncle, suddenly he pushed him and he fell on the ground ...

i dont know what go into me , the man ago i was cursing for being so nosy, an overprotective instinct overpowered me and i ran towards him at lightning speed with neha shouting something which i cudnt possibly hear

"hello! who the hell are u? dont u have any manners ...stay away!" i screamed at the man

" beta rehnedo tum...m theek hun" he pacified me

" aree tum kon hoti ho beech mai ane wali? mai apne dad se baat krrha hun...you stay out of it"

I GASPED IN SHOCK...a man was hitting his old father

" agar apne daant nhi tudwane na to niklo yahan se warna ill call the security...buzz off" i was yelling now

" papa...give me the papers and ill go...i dont want a scene"

now the thing was getting clearer , he was the man who was greedy for his fathers property and in his selfish ulterior motives he had fallen to such grave levels

not wanting to get involved in their matter but still protecting uncles self esteem even though he smelt like palak paneer was the main aim

" security, keep this man out of our colony, i shall never see him again else ull have it from me" i swore

the man, embarassed went away with plans of revenge in his mind

" thanku bete, bhagwan tumhe sadh budhi de" WITH his eyes numb he laughed at me. i hugged him back[with my nose blocked ofcourse...who wants to smell rotten palak paneer...hehehee...kidding]

AT THIS POINT READERS I SERIOUSLY WANTED TO BOTH CRY AND LAUGH, CHADHA JI WILL NEVER LEAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO TKE A DIG AT MY BRAIN

WELL SOMETHINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNCHANGED....THATS THE BEAUTY OF IT

YOU WILL FIND PEOPLE who are annoying, irritating,snobbish but in the end of the day what matters is u understand each persons battle before judging them....each person on earth is born with a clean heart and a kind instinct which is manipulated by the society. DONT LET IT DO IT TO U, STAY RAW,STAY KIND and ofcourse

KEEP SMILING:)

hope u liked it, please read and share the link

dont forget to voice ur opinions which are the most valuable gifts to me

stay happy

WHEN PUNJABI PARENTS HANDLED MY BLOG

SASRIYAKAAL heheeee
hello hello
check 1 2 3 ...mike testing
" god damn it dad...you just gotta type it...its not a mike that you are doing hello check check...i mean literally...whats wrong with you?"
" ni tu chup reh...mainu zyada experience hai! ni inni fikar si, to khud likleiniya"
" hanji ....pta ni ajkl ke bacho ko kya naye naye shok hote hain...ye blog shog ki honda hai..." mom chipped in

" guys please handle it and remember no negativity and end my blog with my tagline ...please...ill promise i will take only 26 mins in shower"
" 15" dad says
" 5" mom says
" 20 mom please"
" deal"
" deal" " ok i gotta go....my intern master is hovering on me..luv you..take care of my blog"
so by now u all must be knowing that today its my mum and dad who are gonna handle the page for  a week as i am out on an internship. [ circus...right..thats what my dad thinks i do]








"hello hello..myself my daughters dad..nice to meet u ji"
" namaste ji..myself my daughters dads wife"
okay so today my daughters friends have various questions which we are gonna answer.

question number 1 ; auntyji how does it feel to be your daughters parents
mom; hain?!! she kicked me in my belly for 9 months and i cleaned her poop till 2 years and tu mujhse poochda payein ki how does it feel? fitte muh tere!


question number 2; uncle ji is your daughter a human?
dad; who are u? haan? whats ur email address i will report in cyber crime..wat do u mean is my daughter is human. ofcourse she behaves like an alien day and night but wo sadi kudi hai! ni apne mummy daddy da number das mainu...is she a human...! khote de puttar

question number 3; what bugs you the most about your daughter
dad; i want this interrogation to get over today and not after 2 years or even 20! patte de ullu
mom; doesnt clean her dishes
dad; takes 47 mins 27 secs in shower
mom; sings wildly
dad; types on keyboard with usain bolt in her fingers
mom; doesnt dress up..ni pura din ek pyjama mei sadi padi rehndi h...kangi bhi ni kardi
dad; doesnt know how to make gol roti
mom; stupid idiot ni
dad; ni preeti di kudi nu dekha hai kbbi..kinni soni kudi hai...all dressedup, knows how to cook,kills cockroach without shouting and doesnt listen to kya kehnde hain....haan...edm
mom; han sachi, wadi changi hai
dad; and look at our daughter...seems she has just woken up drunk from a halloween party
guest; uncle ji bas bas, next question

question number 4; a stupid guest visitor ; sir your daughter is hot, you should be proud
dAD; soor di aulad..keede padein tere muh me
mom; wat hot wat hot han...my daughter is cold ...very cold...ni sunte ho..milao zara 100 number..zyada hi pankh khulde payein hain launde ke




hanji hanji bas ji bas ajkl ina kaffi hai
chalo ji sasriyakal.....and ni wo kya kehnde hai jee....KEEP SMILING AND SWEARING
PROUD TO BE A PUNJABI JI [OKAY dad stop making my blog being a racist]

THE ART OF PEEING

difference between the peeing phenomena of men and women


so i was really bored , i hated going to malls ,i was  staring outside the delhi winters which slowly started to engulf its air...i practically love winters , the calmness , the cool air, no worry of putting on weight as you are already under layers of sweaters and everyone end up looking as fat as mr santa ...
okay so my cousins took me to the mall for trying out some new stores in which i had zero interest. so as they were choosing and debating over various chanel watches which looked exactly the same to me ,  one of my sisters exclaimed her urgency to pee which somehow had not surmounted until she bought her watch,  so she called sneha, her gossipy buddy as she knew coming to me would get her one straight answer"NO I AM NOT GOING..go to the washroom alone...no ghost will come and eat you up"
so she and sneha went to the ladies room.

THIS WAS THE MOMENT WHEN I REALIZED HOW DIFFERENT WERE THE ART FORMS OF PEEING WERE FOR BOTH GUYS AND GALS.


lets get to the girls first

so if a girl wants to pee, u willalways find them in pair..oh no no dont get me wrong, pair as in the girl who needs to pee will always take a personal friend with whom she can entrust her belongings which includes a handbag, a pink handkerchief, a lipgloss, some hand sanitizer and okay fine a bag full of cosmetics which are COMPLETELY ESSENTIAL { bullshit....who needs a lipgloss if they want to pee?}
so before entering the restroom , a full inspection is done
following criterias are necessary for a washroom to be PEE PERFECT {BEFORE PEEING}
1 odorless....it should smell of lilacs and jasmines ....if not dear washroom , u wont be reccommended to the aunty standing outside waiting for her turn
2 enough tissue stock.....its my personal observation that on an average a girl uses 5 times more tissues at a posche washroom than a normal sulabh shouchalaya type
3 the commode should be spotless white
4 it should have a mirror ....{ TRUST ME ITS THE MOST ESSENTIAL CRITERIA, if a restroom fails to fulfill it, dear mall manager, u r in grave trouble }
5 the personal friend should approve of the pee area seat before the girl who is in immediate need to pee enters it

{DURING PEEING}
so once the battleground is ready, the girl who needs to pee holds her breath to ensure that no one else is in the restroom besides her personal friend so that no noise of farting can go out
[ what...cmon dont be shy...farting is a natural phenomenon...and such an interesting one that a movie like piku is made on it ]
the tissues are used to clean the commode so as to ensure complete hygiene
then finally thanks to fb and whatsapp the personal friend is ordered just to switch off the lights and look for a hole which might be a cctv camera
after all these complex tasks are performed , the pee is let out

{ AFTER PEEING}
the girl comes out , washes the hand , washes it again, looks herself in the mirror and sighs out to her friend " god, how horrible my hair looks"
"omg , my gloss is no more"
"damn it, the pleats of my skirt has been ruined"
washes the hand yet again, pours some sanitizer and finally after she feels satisfied, the MARCH OF TRIUMPH is made with both the girls giggling at the pee neighbour whose hair were looking so ugly but they just couldnt say it in her presence as she was utmost proud of the red hair color for which 10000 were spent at the saloon
they return to the group, order the food, use the sanitizer again and then begin eating






wufff.....such complicated process

lets get to the boys

the criterias which need to be fulfilled
NO CRITERIA...JUST OPEN SPACE....KABHI BHI KAHIN BHI


BEFORE PEEING
if in a group, the boy excuses himself if no one else wants to go to pee and says he would come back in 5 mins as he has to go and make an imp call, but if a guy wants to accompany then a famous dialouge " chal bhai halke hoke ate hain"

DURING PEEING
so if the guy is alone he starts singing slowly , usually an old hindi song say"aja aja mai hun pyaar tera...wala wala iqrar tera hoo...oh aja han han aja han han aja " such ironic i must say

AFTER PEEING
the guys have a creepy obsession with their hair, so once out of the restroom, they look into the mirror and reshape their hair a 1000 times with water and each time end up looking as they have recieved an electric shock....and pretend as they look no less than tom cruise. ha!

the process of guys though is simple but irritating enough...

let me use this post to promote SWACH BHARAT ABHIYAN....guys agreed u cant hold ur bladder but that doesnt mean u go out peeing on roads,highways and gardens....just one piece of advice GROW UP...USE A WASHROOM
and girls......so sorry no advice....cant afford to win an arguement with u ...u want to carry a lipgloss, a deodrant, a sanitizer, a comb.....CARRY IT
after all " girls would be girls"

keep ur environment clean
         ur home cleaner
and ur heart the cleanest

ofcourse, KEEP SMILING:)