DIARY OF AN EMOTIONAL FOOL- EPISODE 1

DIARY OF AN EMOTIONAL FOOL

 I don’t know what to call myself…..i mean after 5 breakups one would be a fool getting into the same plunge again!

I am still realizing this  as I sit  in the rain typing ferociously on my laptop ….i guess this is the only way to get these stupid feeling out.

Oh …I forgot to introduce myself…HI I AM ARJUN ….ARJUN BHATIA…you know tried to make it sound like  BOND…..JAMES BOND. By profession I am an IT consultant working with an international firm who screws up your ass by draining 22*6 days out of your life with a fking pay of just 55000/

So most of the times I am either at the office sucking up to my bosses ass to get a pay hike or on the phone with my girlfriend ASHIMA ….or should I say ex girlfriend?

I practically think relationships are over rated….you see yesterday when she brokeoff with me on whatsapp [ man I m seriously thinking…what is more humiliating? Being dumped on whatsapp or farting loudly at my bosses party?]

Look we guys are very simple beings, we can be happy in an instant if someone brings us a bowl of magi [even it’s a day old…I mean who cares?] we are content with a bed a cooler and some good food ……we don’t care whether you curl up your hair or straighten them up…BIG DEAL? KOI FARAK NI PENDA and being a Punjabi just some good food is enough to make us like you !

At 26 if your Punjabi family doesn’t start lookin g for a SONI KUDI , then pardon me my brother you are doomed….see basically marriages suck..be it arranged or love

In arranged marriages, lets just say the snake unfortunately bites you but as in my case …ie love marriages you are dancing in front of a bloody cobra asking him “ kaat kaat kaat bhai kaat”…TO SUM UP…MARRIAGES SUCK…for both genders …its just we the smarter specie realize it while sitting on the horse and the other counterpart realizes it after creating a vaanr sena …

LET ME TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED FROM THE BEGINNING

Okay so have u people been in that awkward MOMENT WHERE YOU ARE SO DEEPLY ENGROSSED IN YOUR THOUGHTS THAT YOU ARE CAUGHT STARING AT SOMEONE DIRECTLY……exactly that’s how I met ashima for the first time .

Don’t judge me….what really happened was mr sahay my boss had  asked me to prepare a report on the annual statistics of the company in a creative manner. But due to the last nights hangover all I was able to do was stare at the wall which stupidly proclaimed “MY BOSS IS THE BEST” I mean how more desperate can people get….that was the only way I could detach myself from last night drunkiness and my dads long sentimental msg to come back to Chandigarh and join his dukaan being the only waaris……and  OFCOURSE THIS MSG FROM ANKUSH…MY ROOMATE WHO NEVER HAS THE MONEY TO PAY THE RENT

“look man I am really sorry for sleeping with your girlfriend…I am very sorry bro…”

“nope” was my reply

“bhai , aisa karega…dekh bhai nahi h…kal zyada pee rakhi thi bhai samjh”

“nope” what did this bastard expect me to say ? agreed my ex gf was a complete flirt and was looking out for ways to get out of the relationship but man cheating is cheating…its illegal

“bhai hum abhi bhi friends hai na?”

“nope”

“then are we enemies “

“nope”

“then what are we?”

“bro WE ARE EVEN …I AM SORRY YAAR WO KAL RAAT KO TERI OR MERI BANDI EXCHANGE HOGYI THI…SO SORRY”

“HILARIOUS BRO….TO AJ RAAT PARTY…SALA ANKUSH KO BAHAR BHEJ DIO….DARU KE PAISE DETA NAHI …PEENE AJATA HAI”

“HAN CHAL OK “

You see that’s how easy we guys are…..we hate complications so we avoid emotional siyappa

So during my transition to meditation, I mean staring at the stupid wall, somebody bhanged my tapasaya

“excuseme? What are you trying to do mr? I heard a girls voice

So before I could turn my chair like james bond and show him what a handsome munda I am I did some calculations  in my mind based on her voice on her figure which I guessed around 38 28 36 and finally turned my eyes up to her face….BANG ON….ABSOLUTELY CORRECT…IT WAS 38 28 36…WOAH…BHATIAJI CHAA GAYE J

“YES?” I asked innocently

“look mr….i don’t know whether you have an xray machine fit in yur glasses but could you please stop staring….its creepy”

“I wish” SHIT SAID THAT OUT LOUD….MAN WHATS WRONG

“Excuse,me?”

“I said I am sorry but I wasn’t staring at you….its just I was trying to concentrate” on her figure …ofcourse I was careful enough not to say that out loud

“really?” now this tone implied that I had to change my defences in order to succumb from  further embarrassment….see being 4 relationships old you know the subtleties that girls use

“look miss I am sorry to make you uncomfortable, that wasn’t my intention” I tried to look  as geeky as possible

“that’s okay…be careful next time” she seemed somewhat pacified

And  after that I saw her when we all were leaving the office….she was talking to that womanizer vikram ….sala har ladki ke saamne stud bane ki adat gayi nhi iske

I ignored and went to the parking lot to get the car and I saw ashima waiting with  her handbag ….ONE OF THE MOST SATISFYING SCENES EVER IS TO SEE YOUR PROMOTION STEALING FRIENDS BIKE NOT STARTING AND THAT TOO IN FRONT OFA GIRL….life me pehli baar waheguru pe itna believe ni hua jitna uss din hogya tha

And then what happened was super amazing

To please ashima and save himself some time to start the bike he flirtly asked “hey wanna hear a joke”?

“no I m already looking at one” GO GIRL…NEVER HAD I FELT SO HAPPY BEFORE….SHE HAD SOMETHING….AND THIS WAS THE SIXER ON THE LAST BALL

Suddenly dad called and I as usual they called me to inform that mom was going on the terrace to jump

My mom was screaming on the phone “jaa rahi hun marne…tabhi chain milega tere papa ko”

“mai bhi jaaraha hun” my dadsaid

“aji tussi kahan jaa rhe ho? Wo padosan Sharma ji ke paranthe khane…humare ghar me to bante nhi haina ?!”

“nhi I am going at nirmal babas place”

“kyu ji, haye toba…..itna pyaar hai to bolte kyu nahi…”

“arre nahi pagli, unhe chadava chadane….kripa ane lagi hai…tum jao jao…kudo “

“dad mom please…mom aap kitna drama karte ho….papa chalo aj raat ka khana bandenge”

“dekho mera puttar nu kitna khyaal hai mera” my mom cheeked

“haa vella hi hai khote da putarr….dukan”

AND I HUNG THE PHONE…..MY PARENTS CAN BE REALLY MELODRAMATIC

SUDDENLY THERE WAS A KNOCK ON MY WINDOW….BLOODYYY HELL..IT WAS ASHIMA…WOHHOOOO….MANN ME LADOO PHOOTA

I rolled down the glass of the car and muted the “wakhra swag ni” music

“hi!”

“hi”

“umm I knw this is way too weird but would you mind dropping me home?”

“yeah….sure…hop in”

“thanks a lot…and neatly placing her black Gucci bag at the back seat she seated herself”

“bdw, I am ashima”

“arjun” I flashed my dimples smile…it usually works magic with girls

“that’s really kind of you arjun to drop me at the last minute”

“no big deal” I shrugged

“so where do you live?”

“I live in preet vihar…and you…”

“just drop me at preet vihar…ill take a bus home”

“no no ashima…its 8 in the evening and delhi aint safe …lemme drop you”

“okay….vasant kunj it is” she smiled

“so…..any girlfriends?” she asked me

MAN….WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY….TECHINACLLY I AM IN ARELATIONSHIP WHICH WAS SCREWED LAST NIGHT BUT SHE HASN’T MADE IT OFFICIAL….AND U CANT TELL A HOT CUTE GIRL YOU JUST MET

“NO”….

“WHAT ABOUT YU?”

“that’s none of your business” she answered back  very coldly

We sat in absolute silence for the next 10 minutes and out of no where she screamed

“STOP THECAR”

“WHAT?”

“I SAID STOP THE BLOODY CAR”

“ASHIMA…WHATS WRONG?”

“RIGHT NOW…STOP HE CAR”

HAPPY HOLI......OR NOT SO HAPPY?

So finally the festival of colors is here....people will be roaming in streets drunk ...and look like a monster {oh bdw have you ever noticed?....how wierd people look on holi..i mean all blue black pink ..pooped...or whatever in that matter...the teeth always look yellow...rarely white...so it seems as if a monster is promoting :"apke toothpaste me namak hai?"}

anyways...this year i have again yet decided to lock myself up in a room, buy 5 packets of blue lays and watch the repeat series of " friends" all day long and simultaneously replying to unknown office colleagues of my mother on whatsapp as she practically screws using it everytime we teach her { not to forget she sent me " a grocery list" and "ghar jaldi aa warna thapad padega" to dad which was obviously meant to be vice versa}

moreover, last year i was so horrified to see people throwing cow poop at each other while i was driving with my familt to a relatives place and actually got a panic attack thinking people over there are going to drench us in the same!!

practically , there are 4 kinds of people

1 WOHOOOO......HOLI HAI
these are the over enthusuastic people who send their holi wishes well in advance so that they dont have to waste a single second on the big day....some really good examples are some uncles who will color you saying " arre gulal hi hai," and then spring the black pkka color on you which doesnt go off till 2 damn weeks and people at work look at you as if you partied like a wild animal and all you can think is " no jerk...all i did was defend myself from morons like you"

2 MANNNNN, LETS DRINK LIKE A FISH
OK, SO THESE people look out for every opportunity to satiate their alcholic lust......diwali,holi,gandhi jayanti,worlds earth day,mere kutte ka birth day....all they want is 4 bottle vodka...and bhanng is just an excuse to drink their asses off and later irritate their friends with puking spells and "hangover utar de bhai"

3 LOVE IS IN THE AIR
these people will include couples, love birds, crushes , newly weds and basically any person mad in love...for them its just another day where they can flirt openly with anybody as later they wouldnt be recognized.....simple na
one of my friend swore to have found true love " on this auspicious day which will remain forever" and 5 weeks later was crying on my shoulder as they broke up....woaahhhhh.....ahan? true love someone said :)

4 LEAVE ME ALONE .....LEMME SLEEP,LEMME EAT
This category involves brilliant people like me who believe in eating good food and being locked up in a room till everyone freshens out and get out of the holi mood...[oh but with me its somewhat different.....i actually get up early and help my lil sis to fill water balloons which later i end up bursting at myself :)....ok dont judge me but its not always like that sometimes i manage to hit some people but then i am so scared....that how those wet drenched people will react that after my aim hits {which rareky does} i run for my life....with all my lil cousins laughin at me "di is so darpok" {haa....as if?}

even though i dont specifically like holi, i always have my idiot mind into developing some mind blowing ideas which when i give to my cousins and they look up to me as if i am the evil master mind

1 if u live on second-third floors....and have an easy access to other peoples terrace what you can do is ask a person to ring their bell...the poor victim wil come out in the balcony to check and then u can spring to action by throwing a balloon straight down on her[PS plz be careful....apply only to people with good sense of humor]

2 one more crazy idea is to eat all the food by yourself while other people are busy putting colors on each other and after all being tired when they will look for food and wont find any , and will come down in the cupboard to take some...u cAN HIDE your lil sibling inside one of the shelf where he/she cant be seen and as soon as the person will come.....attack with pichkari [PS again makesure u dont l;ock up the lil kid and strangle him to breathe hard....cupboard should be an open one]

BDW....i just watched yjhd ...and man...i realized only two people can ;look good with colors on their faces...naina and bunny...and trust me balam pichkari actually motivates me to play such holi...but cmon nishtha u gotta come out of thye dream world....ull be coughing and spitting all around, cribbing people to stay awy from you..,but its not my fault u c...channels like v and mtv show stars playing such romantic playful holi...but AGAIN....everything looks good in reel life and monsters in real life



fun? no? ....okay no....i get it......if yu have any please do share
so heres wishing yu and ur family a very happy and safe holi....dont hurt people....make  them smile....play easy and fair [u can use flowers too....boys mind me...girls are gonna love the flower shower...it never goes wrong.....]
have fun and leave me alone with my blue lays
HAPPY HOLI
KEEP SMILING:)

THE DAY WHEN SELFIE RUINED VALENTINES

it was quite an unusual day for me and my alien counterparts........oh yeah in case u have forgotten I come from mars and have been generously adopted by my earthly parents
my sister on the other hands, unfortunately, turns out to be a normal human girl and thus we both live in conflicting dream places!
she has that total craze for the valentines week which starts with some stupid rose day followed by murderous kiss days [ eww...look at all the germs u are transferring] and even when all this melodrama doesn't make the boys shell out the last mahatma Gandhi from their pockets comes the freaky valentines day on 14th ...[which is in some regions also known as matri pitri divas in case having a chappal 365 days wasn't enough...hehheee...]...by the way certain aliens like chocolate day even if it means dragging your parents all along the reliance freshmart store to buy you a silk and they end up negotiating with a packet of gems :)
so if all this wasn't rubbish enough to laugh my asses off, my darling friend riya sahni [ u remember her? no....? then go back somewhere down and read the post where I first mentioned her...dont wanna go? it's alright! i love to give exaggerated descriptions of my earth friends,  RIYA SAHNI a girl so confident who can intimidate rickshaw walas with her voice to teachers by making her eyes explode out of the eye sockets and is besotted with every cute guy she sees. guys can not really handle such an outgoing personality and poor riya is left  to celebrate the valentines all alone with making extravagance plans for her wedding! unique? ain't she?

so i have noticed a pattern or kinds of people i encounter during the love week
1 THE BLISSFULLY HAPPY
these are the people who make everyone believe in love stories...romantic and beautiful such couples tend to inspire people to go and give love a shot
2 THE COMPARATIVE COUPLE
for these people love is directly proportional to the amount of money spent and getting forward in the race with their friends and leave no stone unturned in showing off
3 THE DESPERATE TINDERS
for these people love doesn't matters, all that is imp is to not be lonely on the overhyped valentines day [ i sometimes feel valentines day is equal to DU's north campus....worthless and hyped for nothing valuable]
4 I HATE VALENTINES DAY
such people show how they are proud to be single [or rather they tried but couldn't hold on to their relation] and u can see them roaming on whats app and facebook posting stupid memes on "how i am lucky to spend time with my pillow, ha ! as in the rest days of years u spend is using towels during sleep na
5 VALENTINES? HAHAHA...BABY FEED ME FOOD
Welcome to my category ...such people rather tend to sleep the whole day and tend to throw tantrums at mom for not making rajma chawal and if by chance stumble across any valentines wish, they are like.....really? me? or are u sure u sent it to the right person?
for them cribbing at mom to make her buy u gems and telling ur family that u love them is more imp than crying in the blanket for being single
such people are more in favor of kick and slap days ...trust me...its way better..u get to kick ur sibling in the ass for being an asshole and if u r lucky enough u might just paste " i am a donkey kick me" on the back of their school uniform



so HELL YEAHHH,
lets come to the main story
5 days before valentines we all decided to go to Preet vihar for some ngo orientation.....while boarding the metro riya saw a real handsome hunk and for her it was love, at first, sight....tall, dusky, dimpled smile, he was perfect in every sense
3 stations passed riya was practically swooning over him in her dreams completely oblivious that  one of our girls was fighting with her boyfriend for not calling her @ 12....[ god these girls....seriously? i empathize with the guys...who the hell calls @ 12 just to say, baby, i love u... or darling u r the only girl whom i have ever dreamt of even a while ago he must have said the same during a sunny leone movie]
but riya in her own world was trying everything to get his attention, suddenly the train halted and we all jerked backward...riya purposefully dropped her wallet and as expected the chivalrous guy bent down to get it for her....
she smiled meekly and thanked him, and maybe took the opportunity to talk it out to him....and trust me riya is real good in making people feel comfortable and extract out personal info....in no time we all girls and 1 alien got to know that he usually boarded the metro @ 8 am and got off the Rajiv chowk station for his MBA classes
woah.....the chicas got speed :P
so obviously if u know riya well by now u can easily anticipate her next move...she made us all board the metro @ 8 am and went 1 station extra just to see him...and if she is not wrong once or twice he even waved at her and smiled flirtatiously and then got back into his phone
this went on about a day was left for the valentines
bhavya , shivi, and adu convinced her that she should ask him out...[as if riya hadn't thought about it na?!]
when riya asked me, i couldn't give her my true opinion as i was busy indulging in the burger kings combo @ 67 where they give u a burger, fries and coke with a cute little paper crown...isnt it amazing!
so practically chewing the crumbs and drinking my fresh coffee i said "jaa riya jee le Apni Zindagi" sarcastically and the girls didn't bother me again [food helps man...see]
so finally after a lot of hues and cries it was decided riya would confront the MBA man on 14th at 8 am
the next day, riya looked stunning [and if u tell her she is like " i look stunning everyday ..haa"]
with the black dress and ethnic earrings she looked like a girlfriend material, Vibhu convinced riya into buying a silk [200 wali! these guys are kidding me...within 200 we could have ordered at least 4 combos of burger king...man! they wasted it i feel bad now]
so we were fortunate enough to be in the same metro as him, finally at Rajiv chowk we all got off....keeping me at behind as i could not shut my mouth from saying that it was a bad idea....
so riya went up to the guy " hey...."
" hi"
"umm....so any plans for today?"
" don't mind but u look good" [yeah yeah shivi and bhavya are gleaming with happiness...their magic spell worked ....bleh]
" yeah...i know ....thanks"
" so?....u stopped me? something urgent? u ok?"
" umm actually i don't know how to say this but i think i might have fallen for you...u are like the perfect guy i have ever seen...and"
" hey..hey, stop stop...what are u saying? i don't even know u!"
" hahahahaaaaaa" no , that was me laughing behind and all the girls glared me as if i have murdered somebody
" but ..but...remember u smiled at me for 3 continuous days and even waved me and stared at me for quite a while ...its only yesterday that u flirtatiously smiled at me and then got back to ur phone and kept on checking me in between...i mean...god!"
"look maam, i am sorry, it might have been a misunderstanding...i was smiling and then looking into the phone as i was clicking a selfie....here...see?" and he showed evidence for his innocence
" KATTA HOGYA!" i burped a little louder and suddenly felt a tinge of pain in my ass ...shivi just kicked me.....ye to gyi
" would u two stop" Sneha and aditi scolded us
"so u were clicking selfies i get that but why were u checking me out then?"
" no i wasn't ....actually ...god...i never even told this to my friends ..i cant believe i am telling it to a total stranger....the thing is i am in a long distance relationship so we skype everyday before i go to classes as it suits both of us that's why i was smiling into the phone as she had proposed me 4 days back ....."
"CHOUPSEY.....HAHAHAAA" I had completely gone bonkers....
" nishi tere mai akal hai? reflexes theek hain? tujhe pata nhi h kab hasna chahiye? shivi take her away before riya kills her" bhavya reprimanded

" oh...okay..i am sorry to bother you...." riya was almost on the verge of crying
" umm...i know it might sOund ridiculous but i see u have brought a chocolate for me...actually i am gonna meet my love in 10 mins and i haven't bought her anything...i mean if you could..."
"YOU ASSHOLE.....JERK...instead of apologizing you are asking for a 3 times burger king meal" i screamed " leave her alone before i use my superpowers" [ok fine...i am possessive about people i care no matter how much fun i make of them ...and it was hurting to see your girl disappointed at valentines]
"its fine nishi, he can have it...at least someones valentines should be perfect...go ahead" she smiled weakly at him
he said sorry and rushed to meet his girlfriend
"riya i am so proud of you" sneha pitched
"yeah we all are!" the girls said
" NO....I AM NOT who the hell gives away 235/- chocolate to a stranger..mujhe hi dedete....idiots"
riya stared at me for a while and started laughing frantically and out of nowhere they all piled and hugged me
" ewwww...not in public place atleast" i and sneha said
" chal...ajaaa....burger king chalte hain"i suggested
and all i know they all were running behind me threatning to hit and smack me today:)












"why the hell is she laughing?" my dad frowned
"must be seeing a stupid dream again" mom defended
"aap didi ko kahan se laye ho? " my sister was practically sure i am mad
" MARS SE" i replied in my sleep
how did u find it?
please letme know by commenting down below....if it managed to make u smile ...then...HURRAH! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
KEEP SMILING:)

SPREAD GENEROSITY AND KINDNESS

Once upon a time, there was a man who was very helpful, kindhearted, and generous. He was a man who will help someone without asking anything to pay him back. He will help someone because he wants to and he loves to.  One day while walking into a dusty road, this man saw a purse, so he picked it up and noticed that the purse was empty. Suddenly a woman with a policeman shows up and gets him arrested.

The woman kept on asking where did he hide her money but the man replied, “It was empty when I found it, Mam.” The woman yelled at him, “Please give it back, It’s for my son’s school fees.”  The man noticed that the woman really felt sad, so he handed all his money.  He could say that the woman was a single mother.  The man said, “Take these, sorry for the inconvenience.”  The woman left and policeman held he man for further questioning.

The woman was very happy but when she counted her money later on, it was doubled, she was shocked.  One day while woman was going to pay her son’s school fees towards the school, she noticed that some skinny man was walking behind her.  She thought that he may rob her, so she approached a policeman standing nearby.  He was the same policeman, who she took along to inquire about her purse.  The woman told him about the man following her, but suddenly they saw that man collapsing.  They ran at him, and saw that he was the same man whom they arrested few days back for stealing a purse.

He looked very weak and woman was confused.  The policeman said to the woman, “He didn’t return your money, he gave you his money that day.  He wasn’t the thief but hearing about you son’s school fees, he felt sad and gave you his money.”  Later, they helped man stand up, and man told the woman, “Please go ahead and pay your son’s school fees, I saw you and followed you to be sure that no one steals your son’s school fees.”   The woman was speechless.

Moral: Life gives you strange experiences, sometime it shocks you and sometimes it may surprise you. We end up making wrong judgments or mistakes in our anger, desperation and frustration. However, when you get a second chance, correct your mistakes and return the favor. Be Kind and Generous. Learn to Appreciate what you are given.

KEEP SMILING :)

VALUE YOURSELF BEFORE THE DOOR GETS BLOCKED

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?"

Hands started going up.

He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up.

He then asked, "Who still wants it?"

Still the hands were up in the air.

"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.

He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.
this was the story my mother recited to me and my sister at bedtime [which was weird coz moms eyes always shut more earlier than mine!]

actually what really happened was one day i asked mom what should i do if a friend of mine completely ignores me for no damn reason?
she initially glared at me and then pepped me to tell her the whole thing

so i began......
a year ago i had made an amazing friend....we used to talk for hours on whatsapp and even on the phone...it was mutually enriching too and we both learned and supported each other through all our ups and downs....atleast i did! it was such a beautiful bond that i never wanted it to go away...
both of us were equally caring and concerned for ones well being but of course never leaving an opportunity to tease each other.....
but recently all of that suddenly stopped.....we all go thru such phases...dont we?
i kept on sending the messages....but the other never bothered to even reply back...gradually not wanting to seem desperate [ we all have that feeling where we feel we are giving more into the friendship than the other ...i had the same] i decided to nt make myself stoop more low and very heavy heartedly called off my communication strings!... and now " the extra busy" person did nt even try once to contact me back ......i tell u ...these expectations hurt the most...[ LESSON OF LIFE....JUST  GIVE AS IF ITS UR LAST DAY...WITHOUT ANY EXPECTATION]
so now.....its like 2 strangers with a cherishable past.....
and mom i feel really sad sometimes....after a busy tiring day when i go to sleep ...i think where did i went wrong?...but then the next morning i begin my day as if nothing happened....and this was a conflicting situation.....which is now driving me mad


"princess.....remind me to tell u a story at bedtime:"
"umm...alright"

and then she told me this story and said " baby, when people unintentionally hurt u and have no plans on coming back....dont stoop low for their time....MAINTAIN UR VALUE AS THAT OF THE DOLLAR NOTE.....always remember....keep ur door open for those who want to leave and those who want to return...but blocking ur door with one person is not right princess..."

" but then u miss the person badly...so badly that u tend to block the door...its easier said than done" i complained

" i understand baby but ITS YOU who needs to put in the effort...be it friending...working  or wanting a desirable object or person ....everything starts with U ....its very hard on ur heart initially but with time the pain fades....DONT FORGET STAY STRONG"

"thanks mom.....really"
" night sweetheart....sleep tight"


HOPE....some of u would have gotten the solution to such problems....get over..move on...life is too short to keep the heart aching!
so KEEP SMILING and
KEEP LOVING UR MOM :) [ ofcourse thats different we argue more......hahahaaa]

BRIGHTER THAN THE STARS

BRIGHTER THAN THE STARS                     

                                                                                                                     I observed him carefully as he walked to the door. I knew that the time was running out but suppressed the urge to check my watch. I took a deep breath and started  counting in reverse under my breath , “ten, nine  eight seven…..”

The flight would leave in the next 60 minutes. And if he comes up to me now at this point of time I can guarantee that I will definitely miss my 80000 bucks flight to the US….but I couldn’t avoid him as this man was the reason I was flying first class to my dream destination for higher studies.  So now he comes closer to me and I prepare myself for the 61 minute goodbye speech he had been preparing for the last 3 months since he got to know I received a full scholarship to do my masters.

“sweetheart , I hope you know this is really important for me…..dont let the emotional siyapa ruin it in anyway….dont make me weak” I warned him in advance . I literally hated airports and railway station…no matter what they make you cry always….

“ofcourse I know it…..it wont be 61 minutes long …I promise”

Shit! How come did he knew about the 61 minute thing ….was I pursuing my masters in psychology or he?  Nevertheless I accepted the roses he presented to me which obviously wasn’t my thing but he wouldn’t budge from wasting 500 bucks on the fragranced roses and assorted chocolates

“not the chocolates please……you know I am allergic to them” I made a face

“ would you stop acting oh-I-am-so-foreign-stuff ?” he was now getting really impatient. At the bottom of my heart I somewhere knew that I was seriously doing wrong to him after all the pain he had taken for me just to see me smiling through my dreams , but the sneaky practical mind was slapping me hard on making my amygdale numb , the emotions had always destroyed me in the past…I felt as if my heart was full of emptiness..i couldn’t let him use it against me now , when I was just 23 hours away from my dream.

“you are being so selfish” the angel part in me rebuked . my brain and my heart were acting like magnets..i wanted to stay with him, holding his hand, resting my head on his chest but the other part wanted to be strong and had an urge , a desire to have independent experiences

“oh please that’s what she is supposed to do ….so you buzz off” the devil part woke up instantly.

“ohkay fine….you exactly have 10 minutes before my check in ….do it fast” I said

“so now finally you are going ….but always remember to thank god for whatever he gave you…don’t skip your meals …call me everyday and last but not the least keep smiling” he finished

“stop being so sentimental…ill come back during the holidays,love and I guess I can take care of myself..you see I have been taking street smart classes from the femina personality makeovers” I replied haughtily

“so you think you are smart? Lets see….tell me how many Indian rupees are worth 50 dollars?” he smiled wickedly.

BADASS….OKAY FINE I CONFESS I AM NOT “THAT” SMART ….BUT I DO HAVE A CONVERTER APP IN MY CELL  moreover i have learned vedic math too…see I am a super genius until he  comes up with such lame tests

He saw me fidgeting in my phone and gave out a sly laughter. “I guess you should have taken mathematical classes than personality grooming” he teased me

“are you aware that you are getting on my last nerve” I was losing my temper

“ohkay my princess calm down…I was just joking” …and  he signaled me to open the amazingly wrapped gift box

“I don’t wanna spoil the paper…its way too  cute” I gushed

“shut up and open it,love” he ordered

“yeah…..” I reluctantly gave in…..it was always this thing with us. He would say something and I would deny and exactly after 2 seconds he stares staright into my eyes which I must confess really freaks me out sometimes but then I always give in to his requests. I guess it was an unspoken rule between two of us which we both lovingly followed.

So I opened the box….OH MY GOD…..I DON’T BELIEVE THIS….how could he? I mean why did he? I almost was broken….this was not suppose to happen ….but it was happening ….i wanted to run away but my feet were numb…it was an overwhelming surge of emotions  a ring it was a ring….a beautiful star shaped ring whose diamonds sparkled even brighter than the stars. I almost thought it was all a magical dream which would end ….BUT IT DIDN’T

“don’t get me wrong…I know you and feelings are at par enemies from birth ….its just a token of my love to you …so that everyday you wake up in the morning and realize how precious you are to me…I don’t express it to you doesn’t mean I don’t feel it….i do …I really do.

I was dumbstruck.

He looked into my eyes….i didn’t want him to but anyhow he did…and tears rolled down my cheeks.

I could almost feel the pain that I had been trying to hide from everyone since my appointment letter came. Yes I badly wanted to go and pursue my dreams but not at the cost of leaving my loved ones behind. I hated myself for being so damn selfish and self centered when there were people who could die for me. That was the only reason I asked everyone to make their asses stay at home and not to come and see me off as final goodbyes are hardest to bid…

“and most heart warming too….” AGAIN …was he into some telepathy course ….how was he reading my thoughts….it was scaring me now.

“don’t be scared”

“then stop making me feel so” I giggled in between my sobs

“are you now going to wear the ring …it costed me a heck of grands!”

“absolutely ….i am” and I slide the ring into my finger and admire its shine

FLIGHT 590 –USA ….LAST CALL FOR PASSENGERS TO CHECK IN

“so this is it….”

“make the most of it” he smiled and hugged me.

And honestly I never wanted to pull myself back from that soft hug which had always protected me from the tough life….wiped my fears in the dark….it was the most comforting place I was ever in.The  pain had suddenly evaporated..i knew that even if I would return after a decade that place would still be empty just for me

“I love you” he said

“ I love you too, DAD” and I enter the check in the gate

"STOP DREAMING .....HURRY UP ....ITS 6 ...ULL BE Late" i heard d scream....and there ws my dad irritating me and bringing me back to life from a beautiful fairytale sleep

so.....i guess the fairytales are somewhat to look forward to in life...no matter how old u grow

leave ur comments down in the box:)

KEEP SMILING:)....KEEP LOVING YOUR PARENTS

                                                           

CONFESSIONS

https://youtu.be/L0MK7qz13bU [BEFORE READING IT PLEASE CLICK ON THE LINK]

So here we are.....finally saying goodbye to the wonderful year that 2015 has been....full of roller coaster rides...
but BULLSHIT .....i am being flooded with questions of my new year resolutions....[ i am seriously hoping that i dont make a stupid idiotic one like losing my weight and increasing my height which has disasterously been shattered due to some technical error in 2015]
one of the main reasons i am not so up funky with new years eve is that from my pre primary classes i always begin to mess up with the date ....i continue writing 1st jan 2015 for instance and keep errorneously committing the same mistake till end of july and when i finally get adapted to write my dates correctly ...BULLSHIT the year ends...what am i supposed to do? screw the calendar?!


so today on the 364th day of the year i have decided to do something crazy [ of course i reamain crazy 260 days ...the rest i spend sleeping and dreaming ]......and trust me i have been contemplating on doing this for the past 1 week ...man it really needs tons of guts
MY CURRENT GUT STATUS : READY TO RUN.....UMM -0.001% OF CONFIDENCE
MY CURRENT HEART STATUS; DO IT


HI [ pls ignore...these are certain ego defense mechanisms i am gonna use throughout...]



F##K ...I CANT DO THIS!
BUT I HAVE TO!



okay......here we go



DEAR TANYA[ sorry for not keeping u anonymous]
for the past 20 years we have been together [ yes i know we are 19 but i am counting the time period when we were shitting in moms womb], and trust me it has been a lot of fun.
u and me from the beginning had hit off [ofcourse barring the time when u and i fought which was 99.9% times] where  me being completely outspoken, always going against people, dancing madly on roads, challenging everyone to have a badminton match, but still being  A DELICATE DARLING [oh yes i remember that]....and you being alwys the-namaste- traditional-type-girl with loads of good manners. And being with you has taught me some of the basic etiquettes too ...
ranging from u, me, mahi being together, to mahi leaving us to shed tears wen she went to kolkata to studying together, going to jain stationery, taking ur pen while u were writing coz i always loved ur pens, to making lame excuses like a cow created a jam or a dog was chasing us wenevr we were late for our tuition classes,to u always teaching me maths while i was crying as i had never prepared for that stupid exam......YOU AND ME WERE ALWAYS TOGETHER....it was like we were meant to be .....but then ONE MISTAKE .....ONE MISUNDERSTANDING CHANGED EVERYTHING....

from the past 4 years we are not meow-moti.....but the formal nishtha-tanya....
and thats because u know the reason and i partially know it.....
tanya...i seriously till date have not been able to cope...because i DO NOT KNOW the complete thing....its like we are together but with a line drawn between us and the problem is that we both are equally scared to cross it....arent we?
i agree i might have done something really stupid to make u this mad at me that we dont even look into each others eyes while speaking  but u too were at fault many a times!
and tanya ....just imagine we were inseparable for infinite years[ i still remember my promise to dance at your wedding and urs to organize my 25th birthday as u r the best planner ever] .......we both were always there for each other and i still believe we still have  a soft corner because friendship like ours can never be broken.....we still get anxious for each other....atleast i do

mumma once told me a story.....
a psychologist entered a room with dozens of potatoes and asked the audience to hold a dozen each if somebody had hurt them and to always keep the bag of potatoes wherever they went and see him after 2 days. after two days the clients came back with aching arms, blue black shoulders and twisted fingers as holding a dozen potatoes all the time was not that easy as they thought...
the psychologist heard their complaints and spoke" look how difficult it was to hold potatoes ...think and introspect how difficult it wud have been for u all to carry on the grudges for years!

it made me realize that the burden we both have been carrying is too long....AND I AM GONNA CHANGE...I KNOW MY EGO IS TOO HIGH...4 YEARS ...WOOF!
BUT NOW I AM GONNA LET IT GO.....I CANT HOLD BACK ANYMORE


yahoooooo....i did it..it was not that difficult...and now i feel so light....CONFESSIONS ARE REALLY BLESSINGS IN DISGUISE

i forgive u and i appologize too....i promise to never ask what made u so sorrowful...i want to start over tanya....i am ready to LET IT GO.....
i luv u buddy and please dont cry....I STILLCARE FOR U
and i am writing this today so that u dont cry on 31st.....i want u to come back running to me [ofcourse like srk!] and hugging me ....i will wait....no questions asked
tomorrow night...ill wait for u moti!
I AM SORRY FOR HURTING U

dear nick,mahima,panav,priya and rachita,
u guys have seriously been there thru all my ups and downs...and i am bloodily possessive about u guys!
thanku so so much....and i promise to stuck by u in times of joy and sorrow...u can always count on me and i will make u smile :)



dear all my college n school buddies,nav,dolly, all mamus mamis,didis,chachus,chachis,bros,sis[ okay i am making it hum saath saath hn type ...sorry han]
u guys have tremendously supported my blog pages,ideas and opinions.
had it not been u guys, i would never have gotten d strength to write
luv u all...stay blessseddd


DEAR SHWETA MAAM
i guess this is the most difficult one!
because wherever i am today is all because of you....u are an inspiration to me....
without u i would never have loved psychology
but maam some things are destined ....and whatever happened i know u blame urself ...please dont...it hurts me the most! u r the bestest teacher and will always remain so
i and panav used to fight over carrying ur belongings
u mean alot to me maam
let the past remain in the past....
just give me ur blessings for the future ..i luv u maam and will always do


dear kittu, anu,tanu
u guys are not just family to me but my bestest buddies....
u have tricked me in various pranks but u r my angels ...
the fun , the laughters , the moments i have with u....are priceless
we may fight all day long but at the end of the day its always a happy ending with us sneaking out to nanis kitchen to bring something to eat!
stay beautiful my girls!



FINALLY
TO THE BESTEST PARENTS IN THE WORLD
i say sorry to u 100 times a day ranging from not picking my shoes to watching tv all day to eat all the chocolates all by myself to fight with kittu over a pencil
reasons are multivariate and diverse but i want u to know WITHOUT U I DONT HAVE A LIFE........UR HAPPINESS MEANS ALOT TO ME
ur lessons,love,scoldings, are so precious
I AM INCOMPLETE WITHOUT U
and i am very sure with ur love NOBODY CAN DRAG ME DOWN



so my this year resolution is to mend all the hearts i have intentionally or accidentally hurt
AND I HAVE TAKEN THE FIRST STEP....WHICH WAS ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT ONE...BUT NOW WHEN ITS OVER...I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER


so this new year....lets make a promise to HEAL ALL THE PAST WOUNDS AND START AFRESH.....LETS SPREAD JOY AND KINDNESS.....coz LOVE CAN TRANSFORM IMPERFECTION INTO PERFECTION

HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!
KEEP DREAMING
KEEP WORKING
KEEP SMILING
STAY BLESSED! :)



[ please leave ur comments...or infact y dont u use this platform to confess something u did...stay anonymous..no issue! let it go guys....LETS CONFESS AND MOVE ON]