DIARY OF AN
EMOTIONAL FOOL
OHKAY SO THIS WAS UNEXPECTED…but ashima was
actually keeling down on her knees…..
“ashima…get
up what are u doing?” I couldn’t conceal my smile
“arjun….just
shut up for once okay…m trying to apologize for all the siyappa I hve created
in ur life…”she genuinely said
“its
okay…dear , no need at all..its not a big issue…get up”
“are u going
to shut up or shall I call Pikachu?”she threatened
“u are a
good blackmailer” I smiled and kept my hand on my chin…”okay continue the
Pikachu owner”
“yeah that’s
better…okay so here is it…from the day we met there have been just
misunderstandings and mishappenings only…i suspected u to stare at me….almost
killed u in a car break..made Pikachu defecate on u..crying n the office …dude
the list is endless, though u staring through my shirt was for real…”she smiled
flirtatiously.
“hey….look its okay..i already have
loads of people to create havoc in life….see AND I TOOK OUT MY PHONE TO SHOW
HER MY DAD :P
She started laughing real hard…
“yeah yeah
make fun of my misery…..”I sighed…”now please get up” I requested
“acha na”
[CAN I JUST TELL THIS GIRL THAT HER EVERY NAA IS FREAKING ME OUT…MAN ITS SUPER
SEXY]
As soon as
she was about to get up I heard someone call me
“saale kutte
arjun, green mango,bc ……”
IT WAS
RAVI….BUT WHY THE HELL WAS HE HERE? IT WAS MY ONLY CHANCE WITH ASHIMA ..AND AB
YE NAYA SIYAPPA!
BUT BEFORE I
COULD RECOVER, ASHIMA WENT INTO DEEP SHOCK
“ravi?” what
the fk….what are u doing here?”
“I guess I
should ask what u are doing here , and why are u kneeling…wtf is going on
ASHU!”
DAMN
IT….ASHU? ASHU!!!....ASHIMA WAS ASHU…..RAVIS EX GIRLFRIEND WHO JUST BROKE UP
WITH HIM A WEEK AGO…..AND ….OH GOD ….BHAI KYA DUSHMANI HAI MUJSE..LADKI MILNE
SE PEHLE YA TO USKI SHAADI KRWADETE HO YA KISI KI EX BANA DETE HO..KYU BHAGWAN
KYUUUU!!!!...
“ravi …..its
nothing as it seems …”ashima got up quickly
“really? 2 days back u were all like u cheated on
me…how could u do this that beleh!...and now what ? han? Mere hi best friend ko
phassa liya
KUTTE JA
MARRJA SAALE…TUNE DEO USE KRNE K YE BADLA NIKALA…I WANTED TO SAY BUT KEPT MY
MOUTH SHUT FROM BEING MURDERED
“ravi, first
of all I am not proposing arjun….and second of all I am not ur gf anymore…so
buzz off..i can do whatever I want to” she made him shut
AB KYUKI ISS
BAAT P SALE K MUH KHULA NHI SO MERE PE BOMB PHODNE CHALA
“arjun bhai,
tujhe bhai mana tha yar”
“saale to
maine tujhe konsa kaam wala bai mana hai…tu bhi bhai h…bt u never made me meet
ashima , I mean ur ashu, howcome I am supposed to know that both are the same
person!” I replied
“bhai ye
sahi nhi hua….ye ladki ki wajah se maine tujhpe shak kiya…I am sorry” THANK GOD
ISKA UPSC K RESULT MERE HAATHON PASS NIKALA WARNA SAALE NE UDAA DENA THA MUJHE
“ITS okay
yaar, acha ill just be back from the washroom, u guys sort out till then” I
said
“u are going
to the washroom?” ashima asked
“yess…” I
replied confusingly
“why” she
enquired BHAI AB INSAAN HUGNE BHI NAHI JAA SKTA.. ITNA DRAMA HONE K BAAD TO KSI
KI BHI LAG SAKTI HAI…M TO NORMAL MBA ENGINEER HUN …LAGNE KI ADAT WAISE HI
HAI…HOW DUMB OF U ASHIMA BABY…OH…RAVI KI ASHU
“what why?
Why are u going to the washroom?”
“TO OPEN THE
CHAMBER OF SECRETS! AND THEN TO JUMP FROM THE LONDON BRIDGE…WANNA JOIN ?” I was
getting annoyed now….
“look
guys…this is it …I am never ever gonna see the 2 of u in my life ever
again…arjun u have been a good friend bt m sorry this is really awkward “ and
taking her Gucci black bag, she left.
“gayi
kamini….chal bhai drink pila” ravi said
“saale
kutte….khud to chance maara nahi mera bhi chance le liya…marr le” I was full of
rage
“chodh na
bhai..waise bhi kal Amritsar jaa raha hai tu, ab shaadi krwadenge tere ghar
wale….m kitna miss krunga tujhe”
“obviously
ull miss me bro…daaru ke paise kon bharega? Haiana!” I commented sarcastically
And after a
few shots we went home cursing girls for tsunamis and earthquakes and
disrupting the global economy! Ravi even drew a brilliant picture explaining
everything in just 2 words
The next
morning I handed over my keys to ravi who was begging me not to get married
“bhai phas
jaega….ye arranged marriages bas 4 saal achi lagti hai..40 saal baad maut
ayegi…fir krega bhai ko yaad” ravi said
“saale maine
konsa haan bol dena hai pehli ladki ko..dont worry…chal bye bro..daru pee khush
reh” SEE WE BOUS DON’T EVEN BOTHER TO SAY TAKE CARE COZ WE KNOW KI BHAI NE
KARNA WAHI HAI JO SOCHA HAI…HAD THERE BEEN A GIRL IN PLACE…ALL THE NATAK DRAMA
WOULD HAVE TAKEN PLACE FROM PRE FAREWELL BASH TO POST GRIEF MOURNING TO “AWW
BABY I MISSU TK CARE” STATUSES!! BULLSHIT
I reached Amritsar
only to face an over enthusiastic mom who was all about”haye mera munda kitna
sukda hogaya hai” and a detective dad who was trying to figure out how much
more money was I gonna ask this time
“or beta ji,
dukaan pe kab baithna hai” dad said over a cup of tea and marrie biscuits
“dad, not
again please….”
“arre mera
puttar itne time baad aya hai…chain ki saans to lene do” and my mom defended me….
WAIT! WHAT?
MY MOM DEFENDED ME?? SOMETHINGS FISHY……
“jaa puttar
haath muh dhoke tayaar hojaa…some guests are coming over”
“guests?” I suspiciously
asked
“arre sawal
na pooch jyada….jaa jaldi se fresh hojaa” mom ordered
“hanji
..going”
As I came
out of the shower my mom made me wear her favourite shirt …the check stripes
one….FUCK
“MOM? Whos sitting
outside?
“beta, ab
bada ho gaya hai..bua ki friend ki ladki hai….soni hai…ek baar mil le…”
“MOM I TOLD
U …I AM NOT GONNA GET MARRIED ESPECIALLY ARRANGED BY YOU GUYS”
“Beta sooraj
nikal aya hai…din me shubh bolte hain”
SOORAJ ?
SERIOUSLY? SO IF THE DAMN SUN HAS DECIDED TO COME WHAT DOES SHE WANT ME TO DO ?
PHOTOSYNTHESIS?!!
“tujhe meri
kasam ek baar mil le ….”
“okay” I gave
in
As I went
outside pretending to be a stud that I actually wasn’t…..I FROZE….I LITERALLY
FROZE AND IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE AUDIENCE OF MAMA CHACHA AND THEIR NIKKE NIKKIS
ALL I COULD SAY OUT LOUD WAS “F##K”
WHAT THE
HELL? ASHIMA WAS SITTING THERE , BLOODY HELL…SHE WAS THE BRIDE?...I MEAN LAST
NIGHT ONLY…..WTF…HOW MORE FILMY CAN MY STORY GET?
Ashima
looked at me and calmly concealing her face of horror said like a sabhaya kudi “hi,
arjun” and smiled [UFF, JAANLEVA SMILE…HAYE!]
“Hi ashima?”
I replied confusingly
“hehehehe…..jao
beta , jao….arjun…ashima ko ghar dikhao tab tak hum bade baat krlete hain” my
dad let out his nervous laughter
GHAR DIKHAO?
HES KIDDING RIGHT…KYA GHAR DIKHAUN…JO 10 SECONDS ON FOOT KHATAM HOJATA HAI!!
“Come ashima….”
And we went
outside in the garden…
“WHAT THE
HELL, YOU KNEW THAT?” I demanded an answer
“OBVIOUSLY
NOT” she freaked out as well
So , it was
all destiny…..and here through all the fights, coincidences and
misunderstandings we stood ….looking at each other in shock and I don’t know
about her but mere mann me to definitely ladooo photo rahe the…
“arjun? So u
wanna get married?” she asked
“ I am
contemplating” I gave out a little laugh
“you love
me?”
“woahh….girl
u are fast?”
THIS
QUESTION OF HER HAD A DIFFERENT SORT OF EMOTIONS…..MY HEART SAID ONE THING AND
MY WALLET SAID OTHER….
“its simple….either
u want me or you don’t want me…..choice is urs” she said
AB ISS PAGLI
KO KON SAMJHAE…PYAAR SABKO CHAHIYE HOTA HAI…BAS GIRLS WANT THE YASH RAJ WALA
PYAAR AND GUYS WANT THE MAHESH BHATT WALA ….:P
“What are u
thinking?” she asked
“I ws just
thinking that bhagawan kuch logon ko itna sundar banata hai ki unhe dekhke hi
lagta hai ki bc reject hone k liye hi bane hain”
“well thanku
for the flirt but it still doesn’t answer….u want to get married?” she pestered
with the same thing again and again
“look
ashima, I cant say yes immediately, give me some time to think” and suddenly we
heard mom calling us out
“so beta kya
decide kiya?....” dad asked angrily looking at me but appearing to be somewat
subtle in his tone..
“uncle ji, it’s
a yes” ashima said
“exactly “ I
said…WAIT? WHAT!!..........THE WHOLE HOUSE WAS NOW BRIMMING WITH JOY AND SWEETS
AND BADHAI HO BADHAI HO CONGRATULATARIES AND ALL I COULD DO WAS STAND THERE
LIKE A GHOST WHO WASN’T HEARD, UNDERSTOOD OR FELT! I SAW MY PARENTS HUGGING
LIKE HAPPY KIDS AS IF MARRYING WAS THE BEST DECISION …OR THE MOST SENSIBLE
DECISION I HAD TAKEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE…..
“congrats
arjun bhaiya” my cousins said
“hehehehe….thanks…..”
I let our an anxious tone
“ASHIMA ….WHY
DID U DO IT?” I WHISPERED ADMIST SIMLES
“ARJUN….I
LOVE YOU” she declared
“that’s really
flattering but……man ashima….i asked for some time..”
“only to say
yes later…see I skipped the complexities” she said
“you are
crazy…” I couldn’t stop myself from smiling
“AND YOU ARE
AN EMOTIONAL FOOL” J
