LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE.

YES THERE ARE SOME INSECURITIES.....
yes there are some flaws
yes i say alot of sorries n loads of thankus
yes i often trip over my untied laces
{ITS NOT ME....MY SHOES HATE ME...THE FLOOR IS SLIPPERY AND I SLEEP WHILE I WALK}
yes i dance in the washroom while brushing my teeth
yes i take time to pronounce words like chrysanthemum
yes i bang my head against the door{and trust me that i do on a daily basis:P}



YOU MAYBE HAVING SOME TOO
some of you might think that u r too fat{count m in:p}
some of you must be wondering that whether god gave u bones or not....{that specifically goes for my friend shivi who i assume must be weighing 500 gms}
a few of you never even got closer to muscles....forget biceps:P
a number of you feel that why is it always that only you are bestowed with even more intresting problems than jethalal
and some of you might feel lost...you may feel lonely even if you are surrounded by people....
this emptiness n hollowness in life is only because of 2 reasons
1 you choose society over ur feelings
2 you undrestimate yourself....{dont worry you arnt the only one...i do it too...i guess 24*7...hahaa}


have you wondered exactly what it is that really defines you
is it the clothes u wear
or the job u do
is it the number of cars u have
or the amount of bucks u spend at starbucks.....

people always keep saying go out and follow your heart bt if u pause for a second and THINK
{ok ok i admit i think alot...:P}.....does the society actually lets you follow it or it just  cleverly moulds you into another hypocritical person.
so here are TOP 5 ways to DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO

1 whenever in a dilemma and dont know what to do....simply close your eyes and ask one simple question "whatever problem it is,...is the pain gonna be worth it after 5 years?"
and if the reply is no ....DIG THE PROBLEM THERE AND THEN

2 whenever feel angry and u wanna scream loud bt cant do so as your neighbours dog might get scared.....GO ON THE TERRACE AND DANCE {u know this technique is really ancient...lord shivas tandav dance ......yeah ....fascinating no?} and if you dont get a terrace ...start dancing among the troublemakers,.....theyll be so confused at your behaviour that believe me they will never bother u...ever...{the latter part has some risks though....if they call an ambulance thinking that u hv got bonkers.....dont blame me:P}


3 thanks to kapil sharmas....BABAJI KA THULLU ...it really helps when the person infront of you doesnt stop abusing and u cant do anything as it is a mangalwaar and you have swore on bajrangbali to not use bad language!

4 have you ever noticed how babies sleep.....just observe once ....they sleep with their hands open and usually raised up the shoulders....ever thought about it?
yeah...it too has some science involved...when u sleep with your hands raised and open you let go off your muscle tension which leads to relaxation....and in no time you will be sleeping like a baby...soft and sound{but dont forget to set your alarm for the next day:p}

5 this defense mechanism is my favouriteee...i am trying to learn it from my dear friend shivi who a month ago i thought was stupid....actually that stupidity= advanced SARCASM
it is really handy ...shes gonna kill me bt i gotta share it
while clicking a selfie one of our groupmate remarked that how ugly she looked in the pic and what she replied was HILARIOUSLY FUNNY AND A TAD OF SARCASM TOO....shivi said"there are no bad pictures ....its just how your face looks and thats why you have 199 photographs in your phone gallery labelled"ME"
shocked ..at her blunt response....a 2 min grief silence was observed...and as usual i was the 1st one to break it with peels of laughter{god i need to stop laughing randomly like this else in no time ill be thrown out of my class hehehee:P}



so the moral of the story is that UNLESS YOU PUKE , FAINT OR DIE KEEP MOVING AND TRUST YOURSELF. realize your real worth....dont let trivial issues come in between you and your dream....LEARN FROM EVERYONE BUT FOLLOW NONE
so what if you take time to understand a concept in class....or are short of money or feel like crying
DO IT .....its ok to say that " i am not okay"
be it boys or girls if you need a hug say it....if you are scared to loose someone, go and express it, not because this is the only time bt also because maybe the person in front of yu is equally afraid....
everyone has a different story to tell....and during the plot if you stumble upon someone who needs help......then munnabhai ka jadu ki jhappi and chinki ki sweet little smile will do the magic
ITS ALL INSIDE YOU....YOU JUST GOTTA FIND IT AND SHINE

and obviously dont forget ...if u have nobody else to smile for....do it for urself
go to the mirror....see yourself and KEEP SMILING
ull b amused how pretty your canines and molars will look:P :)

MAA......I LOVE YOU

"WHATTTTTTT!!! nooooo.....please not again ...i use the phone only for 2 hours in 24 and still you have a problem...i dont believe this" i yelled as my mum again scolded me for the various things that bugs her.....you wanna hear the list?
BANG!
keep your bag and shoes in place
dont sit in your pyjamas always
start looking after your health , start eating almonds{i guess my brain has some permanant slumber kinda problem...even after eating almonds i always forget to turn off the gas whenever instructed by mum....ok fine so what if i do it 15 mins late...ATLEAST I DO IT!}
dont whatsapp too much{ i tell you parents have some sixth sense and they easily smell it whenever you are texting:P}
bathe quickly{ ok fine this one bothers my lil sis too...but u tell me 20 mins are required ...no?!....out of which 15 mins are happily wasted singing or having deep thoughts about the universe and 5 mins for quick washing as i cant tolerate another knock on the door asking"aur kitni der"!!!}

so yeah ....you can easily figure out that i have some serious defects:P....{which unfortunately are irreversible}

"dear you gotta understand.....those who dont value time...."began mum...
"time doesnt value them.." i groaned as i was used to hear the same dialougue every now and then.
"mom bt its neha....she got into med school ...i was just congratulating her"

so as mum sensed that i was in no mood to compromise she gave the final ultimatum look which i cant resist....EVER!
" ok fine ....wifi is off" i murmered










"MOM?? WHERE ARE YOU?.... papa wheres mom?....mummmmaaa" i screamed as i looked in every nook and corner of the house ....but couldnt find her as she didnt come to wake me up .
"kiddo, your mum had some official work for which she had to go....she left last night" my dad informed as i was almost close to tears
okay....so now it was it!!....A FULL DAY WITHOUT MOM......i shuddered at the thought
so i began the daily routine of getting fresh....{without the knock on the door of the bathroom urging me to come out soon.....i tell u that feeling is terrible...and i came 10 mins early than my usual....theres no fun even in getting ready without mums scream to do my chores quickly which i always ignore but now was missing it}
"ahan.....has the sun rose from the west today?" my dad joked
"i made an omellete....get dressed and eat it fast...actually eat slowly...u saved ur time today"my dad commented !.....i sat at the breakfast table staring at the omellete
"you gonna eat that today only?!!...ok ok if u dont want it....can i eat it?" remarked my sister
{god.....even breakfast is  so gruelsome....else on other days i was always rushing for things as mum poked me to not to go without eating my meal...and i made a grumpy face while relishing the worlds best food and mum would lecture me on the benifits of breakfast......today it was so different....everything was so silent....or maybe it was my heart that couldnt bear the whispers of the silence}
as i packed my bag before leaving for college....i remembered the checklist that mom always asks me before i go in a supersonic speed....metrocard{check}
keys{check}
books{check}
n i coyly would say with a mischievious smile...."hug?"
and then mom always hugs me and say"check'


and today there was no hug....no checklist....just me and my flashbacks...
even though it was just for a day....every second passed like years.....
so after attending my lectures i returned back home
suddenly my phone beeped...."MOM CALLING"i didnt even wait for it to ring the second time and picked my cell
"maaaa....."
" hey princess! how are u?" {i wonder y mum always asks me this silly question ....}
"mum....y did u leave me...u should have atleast told me about it" i complained
" sorry sweety....it was an emergency...but ill come back soon..."
i didnt even let her finish and cried"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY SOON.....I WANT YOU.....NOW"
After that i didnt know what happened to me ...i think a soul of a 6 month infant hovered upon me and i started talking like a baby:P
" mumma i am sorry i promise i will not use my phone
i will not wear pyjamas and roam about
i will bath quickly
ill also eat breakfast....
i will not argue....i will always keep water bottle in my bag....but please come to me "i begged
suddenly i heard the tone of the phone being hung up
"NO NO NO....THIS CANT BE HAPPENING....mumma !!" i wailed like a child who was suffering from parental separation anxiety syndrome!{i always tell mom to change her company of networks....they were never available when u needed them the most}










"PRINCESSSS!! princessss....wake up....wake up....y are u screaming? i saw my mother taking my head in her lap as my eyes were wet with tears...
"what happened , u saw a bad dream? m here only dear...with you"
"the most horrifying one" i softly said
" that is why i tell u not to watch that conjuring horror movie last night....bt u dont listen to me....haina?my mum spoke as she folded the quilt
"now go ...go on...hurry up... u are already late...how many time should i remind u to value ur time.."
"else time wont value me....GOT IT" i winked



"hurrrryyyyy up!!!!!" i heard the knock on the door:P as i was busy in brushing....or actually dancing while brushing{hehehehehehhe}\
"i know u are dancing inside........come out in 2 mins else.,....."my mum loudly gave me the warning
"cmingggg"i smiled and i guesss outside my mum was too smiling



as i always say...no matter how hard u try ...some things in life can never be changed....and i guess its better that they remain the same because that is exactly what add colors in ur black and white life.
{and i seriously hope i am not the only one facing the same thing....else HOGAYI BURI WALI CHOUPSEY....hahahahaaa }
no matter ....whether ur opinions match or not
irrespective of the generation gap.....mothers are always special
yeah....out of 24 hours...20 might be spent fighting....but in the end a good night hug makes it all worth it
maybe, its our job to always piss of our mums...and their job is to always be ideal{ and trust me being ideal is hard} but still nothing is more beautiful creation than a mother
the least we can do for her is to always make them to KEEP SMILING or coming out of the washroom fast....{umm....i guess this one might be harder......hehehehehehe...:P}
love u maaa....u r the bestest:)

DO YOU DARE YOURSELF TO LOVE A PAGAL?

as i entered the hallways of my new internship area of a reputed government hospital, a rush of adrelin choked my throat as i was very nervous about how the interview would go.
i stopped by a pillar and asked a security guard for the way to the psychiatry department.
he initially glanced me a sympathetic look but then pointed his hand towards 2nd floor, confused at his reaction i went upstairs.
DR XYZ HOD PSYCHIATRY......the board proclaimed of various degrees my future mentor had obtained . the clerk stationed outside the door hinted me to wait as 100 more students were too waiting for their turn.
sensing my discomfort one of the senior most guards started telling me about the dr and his ideologies........suddenly out of nowhere we all heard a most painful scream....a scream of a 5 year old child who was being dragged recklessely by the hospital officials she struggledof getting freed .....rolling on the dirty floor, moving her legs and arms ,she tried protesting in every way possible  but all in vain.
aghast seeing such ruthless behaviour i turned towards the uncle who a moment ago was happily boasting about the dept......again reading my mind he said in a grim voice" beti daro mat pehli pehli baar dekh rhi ho na ....ye sarkari aspataal h...yahan aise hi hota hai..."
WRONG ...I WASNT SCARED OF THE CHILD.....I WAS SCARED OF THE WAY THESE GUYS WERE GONNA TREAT THE LITTLE KID
"uncleji dont you think that these people too have feelings....humiliating them in a public place...wont it make them more resentful?" i asked with my voice actually shivering.
"beti ...ye PAGAL hain....inhe sahi galat ki pehchaan nhi or tum chinta mat karo...apna interview p dhyaan do ye sab to chalta hi rehta h"
CHALTA HI REHTA HAI?!!!! WAS THIS GUY CRAZY OR WHAT....FOR A MOMENT I THOUGHT THAT HE WAS A PAGAL!
after a series of such shocking incidents my heart was pumping anger instead of blood.....
INTERVIEWEE 190 ...the assistant came out and announced my number....with so many thoughts swirling inside ....i entered the room
"lets cut the crap and come straight to the point ...." the hod barked as he seemed too tired to interview any more students
"just tell me any one reform that you would like to bring in this dept" he asked
"sir the dept is alright....the doctors ...instruments ....everything is perfect...what actually is ruining the repo of psychiatry in india is the LAME MINDSET AND UNREASONABLE LABELLING.
according to me the definition of the mentally weak should be changed"
"what the hell are you talking about ...are you challenging the american association of psychology who invented such a crisp definition!" he almost shouted
"no sir not at all.....but a layman in india does not know what psychology and psychiatry is all about....for them every person going to the psychologist is either a pagal or suicidal.......all i am trying to say is that we need to reframe who a pagal is.....it could be me you or anybody else who needs a little more love and care than the rest of the SO CALLED NORMAL HOMO SAPIENS."
"you may go out" he dryly said
i thanked him for his time and knowing that i wasnt obviously clearly going to be selected i left for the room where that child was taken to.....
reaching there i was astonished...the little one had completely stopped crying and was now engrossed playing with the toys
suddenly tap on my shoulder and saw that it was uncleji who had toys in his hands that he bought.
"beti....ye meri poti hai{dear, she is my grand daughter}.......COMPLETELY DISTRESSED AND OUTRAGED....I WAS PREPARED FOR SOME MORE SHOCKS THAT I WONT BE ABLE TO DIGEST
" ye pagal hai.....maine aisa kyu kaha tum yhi soch rhi ho na?"
before i could answer he said
"hindustan m aise logon ko pagal hi bolte hain...maine sab suna jo tumne dr se kaha...zyada angrezi samajh to na paya lekin ye zarur samajh gya ki tum aise logon se pyaar krna  aur yhi kuch tum mere sahab ko samjha rhi thi"
"uncle you dont worry ....everything will be fine" thats all i could say....before my heart could fill with tears and gratitude i left that place .
i could NOT UNDERSTOOD as i was flowing with emotions more than i could deal with
a week later.... ie today i am now working with a school who helps and trains these god gifted kids.
and i guess it is today that I HAVE UNDERSTOOD or atleast am trying to that these kids are no pagal....they too understand the meaning of HURT that today we normal people are inflicting them with.
they are just like us ....the only difference is that they see the stars a little more differently that we do....their brains are wired just a little more complexly than ours is.
yes you might think what about those wierd scary repetitive activities these kids do .....its just the same way of unloading themselves of all the negative emotions they face ...exactly the way we cry or shout when we are angry.
they might bang their heads ....scream spookily....but we at an individual level should try and understand the difficulty their family would be facing....not only in terms of medical problems but the cold looks of the society...the embarassment at the mall and what not
atleast we should try changing this embarassment into pride  
yes they are different from their brains but not the heart and they can too improve with love and the 2 magic words they respond most happily to- lets help giving these children a chance to embrace the warmth of KEEP SMILING:)
TRY BEING THE STARSOF THEIR SPECIAL SKIES

A LOST PRINCESS FINDS HER WAY...

She came across a whirling twist of winds
battled them with a brave heart
even though the obstactles were upmountedly hard

she did not give away
and hoped for the sunshines ray

she persisted walking, crawling and running
a world that was so cunning

all she ever longed for a dream...
a dream she wanted to come true
but now they all seemed distant and blue

she thought about her earlier days
which were so happy and gay
stars twinkling ....illuminating  her way
a peaceful life near the bay

but now as she looks back
to her dismay
everythings gone - the days, the ways and the bays

a drop of tear rolls down
as she sees the grass now turning brown
the grief surmounted as each day passes by 
but she refuses to be defeated by her own cry

getting up slowly 
she begins walking boldly
defying all the rules
she mesmerizes her onlookers coldly


gathering her strength
she walks against the heavy winds once again
with all her determination and mind
focussed on the only mountain she ever wished to climb


now today as she conquers her dreams
those onlookers get inspired by her name with a beam
and all the courage she gathered that day GLEAMS!!




This poem is not only for girls and women...its a message for all those people around who sometimes feel that they are unworthy of any happiness with the added burden of "log kya kahenge syndrome"
which obstructs them from realizing their own inner potential and the unexplored joy which is just waiting to unleash.
yes the world will bring you down
yes the world will swear on you
yes it will inflict with all kind of attrocities on you
but NO , you wont ever let the so called world dull your sparkle....EVER
its never too late to achieve ones dreams

you wanna go skiing? GO
you wanna dance in the rain? DANCE
you wanna laugh out on the faces of people who carry a warning of"laughing prohibited" on their foreheads? LAUGH
stop thinking and waiting for the right time to come 
beacuse no time is as right as it is NOW 
so dont waste even a single second without being happy....
thats y i always have 2 magical words to say


KEEP SMILING:)

AUR BTAO?!! : THE STINK OF HYPOCRISY

Before i decide to update another post .....my mother suddenly calls me out of my room{which is messy like hell....dont ask:p } and says " dear u gotta go and deliver these medicines and paranthas to sharma aunty" 
"why? dont tell me she doesnt know how to make paranthas....every damn morning shes feeding and stuffing her daughter's mouth with it!!" i scornfully commented as i really wasnt in the mood to do anything and especially not ANYTHING related to sharma aunty!
" shes sick dear and nobody is at home to bring medicines for her....and neighbours should help each other in time of distress...ok? and u toh are a good daughter....you will do atleast this much for me" she smiled at me.
So this "good daughter " blackmail part always worked with me...so this time too it did it and reluctantly i agreed...
while stepping down the stairs i was constantly thinking  about excuses so that i could run off  from her floor as quickly as possible
SHARMAS- 204.... the board boasted of their unwanted existence in the colony or atleast in my life:p
i ring the bell twice n knock for umpteen number of times and then FINALLY mrs sharma arrives.
Clad in her nightie ....she invites me in.
"how are you feeling now aunty?" i asked out of concern
"bas beta kat hi rhi h zindagi" she warily replied.....A voice inside me sarcastically comments "why do you even bother asking!!"
Nevertheless i handed the meds n food to her and initially she declined but accepted after my insistence with the old silly line " arre beta iski kya zarurat thi" with a grin .
i sometimes wonder who was the mastermind behind such DIPLOMATIC lines. I could never answer back to such lines damn it!
As i was trying to run my mind to escape from the volley of questions she was about to ask ...i realized it was TOO LATE.
"so how are studies going dear?" she asked
"good! aunty" i said
"how many friends do you have?" she interrogated.
WAS SHE SERIOUS?!!....I MEAN HOW MANY FRIENDS DO I HAVE ...LIKE REALLY
hiding my shocking expression i tried putting up a smile..."many" i answered
i was intentionally keeping my responses short because sharma auntys idea of small talk took approximately 2 hours to get over with.
"aur btao beta?...i have read in the newspapers that girls should not wear short clothes" she said as a matter of fact 
i suddenly thanked god for helping me choose my wardrobe wisely before i entered the sharma house!
but on a serious note WAS THIS LADY ACTUALLY ILL OR WAS SHE  JUST PRETENDING!!
instead of quitely resting she continuosly gossiped  about other women , boasted of her daughter and how efficiently she ran the household in her absence n blah blah what not.
" ok aunty ...i must take leave now" i said as i wasnt able to tolerate anymore diplomatic societal talks on weather , sun , moon , air....but .on a second thought i wonder how could she skip talking about aliens man!
as soon as i got up to leave , her daughter nyonika arrived ....wearing completely trendy clothes ....{ i meant short clothes:p}do you smell that too guys....yeah its called THE STINK OF HYPOCRISY
" hey ...hi how are you? she asked 
m fine nyonika..thanks" i replied
as we stood in awkward silence for 2 seconds where mrs sharma was contemplating her earlier remarks ....nyonika broke the SILENCE " aur btao dear?"
oho....not again
THIS DID IT FOR ME...... I AS USUAL BLURTED OUT MY LAUGHTER AND THIS TIME SHARMA AUNTY JOINED TOO:)

sometimes you are accustomed to follow some societal rules and get conditioned to them with time but if you still are not able to come to terms with the so called "aur btaos" i have got just one simple suggestion


KEEP SMILING....itll help you feel better...trust me:)