"BABY ARE U JEALOUS?"

I have never been in love...but i guess the feeling might be quite similar to when you see your waiter arriving with your food ..or when u solve a maths equation and u see nothing matches the option ..in short either OVER HAPPILY EXCITED OR IMPENDING DOOM.....In both the cases the end case scenario is pre decided by the nature...ITS LIKE THE 4TH LAW OF PHYSICS...U ARE MEANT TO BE SCREWED IN THE END.

Hi ...i am ROY JAAN SAXENA...dont go by the name and dont even bother to track down the history behind my middle one ..u will definitely get lost 😅...so as u might have realized by now ...i am in a relationship or in the next 15 mins "WAS IN ONE" .In school, my name must have evoked a lot of sarcasm and horseshit but in college and work life..it has worked wonders for me...girls have never been so friendly since i last offered my aloo parantha in school..in high school..offering aloo parantha to a girl was like committing a crime....so yeah...JAAN is something i have to be really thankful to my forefathers for.😎

PHONE VIBRATES

"we're done jaan....its just not the way it was ...i cant be in love with a man who doesn't respect women or doesn't understand the needs of his girl....its just enough" i received a whats-app text from HONEY SUGAR PIE...in short SWEETU ...but she didn't let me allow to save the damn name on my cell...instead she asked me to come up with something original...CM ON ITS LIKE ASKING AN ENGINEERING GUY TO FIX YOUR FAN...so i came up with this ...and now after 2 years and 3 months 6 days 20 minutes and 36 secs later she is upset over the fact that I DONT UNDERSTAND HER NEEDS!! WHAT CRAP!😨

But sometimes i think its my overactive mind and my inability to think where to open my mouth....especially in front of my girl who according to her is "INTELLECTUALLY FASCINATED BY METAPHORS OF THE WORLD" 😑
fuck! who says this on the date??.....and that too in front of me who barely understands literature...forget bloody metaphors..
but whatever...its not entirely my fault .....its those magazines that sweetu used to give me to "WORK ON US" ....[no i wasn't building a bridge ...its just out of your understanding]...and it was those stupid guys who suggested to BE ENTIRELY HONEST ABOUT YOUR OPINIONS TO YOUR PARTNER

anyways...so what basically happened was that we went to this unnecessary Christmas sale at a mall which at its entrance had a huge snowman and fake snow flakes were showered only on couples ..Sweetu was so excited and happy ...I have never understood that why ..i mean why this filmy stuff makes girls happy..but then its okay...she is sweetu ..my girlfriend ...i think there is  no harm in pouting to her cheek for a photograph in front of 10 kids with their families waiting for their turn to click a selfie with the snowman  while its actually DISGRACEFUL when i actually hug her in front of those people genuinely...HUH...HYPOCRITE😏
So after crossing the entrance, we entered the main ground area where a lot of couple games were organized and sweetu pulled me to a damn dance thing where we had to dance with some other girl/boy...so OKAY TO BE HONEST I WAS HAPPY ..I MEAN SHE WAS AN UNDERSTANDING GIRL..SHE TRUSTED ME....
as i turned to that other girl, who, let me admit was HOT...she texted me "BE CAREFUL"
ahaaaa.....
i texted back "baby, are u jealous?"
"no"
"baby are u jealous?"
"no"
"baby are u jealous?"
"what is your problem...i said no"
"baby give me a flying kiss"
"GO AND TAKE IT FROM UR NEW DANCE PARTNER"
"but baby u said u are not jealous"😮


she left her dance partner and walked away..and i started running after her..and apologizing teasingly...after 20 MUAAHS and 3 dresses she was mine again.😋

but then my another innocent act was criminalized under HONEY SUGAR PIE PENAL CODE 401  where being a gentleman means being a pervert..so we were just exiting the mall where the same girl came before me...and i out of civility said " LADIES FIRST"
my girlfriend gave me the smirkiest look possible and as soon as that hot girl was out of sight, the tigress pounced on me with rage
"How dare u jaan?"
"what baby...?"
"i know why u said ladies first....dont act smart han"
"baby....are u jealous"
"i am sure even in your weirdest fantasies u would have never imagined to be killed by heels?"
"baby...why the puzzles..what made u so mad?"
"MAD! OFCOURSE...NOW I AM MAD...THAT LADIES FIRST WAS 'OH-ALL-SO-CHIVALRY' NA"
"can u tell me please....what did i do wrong??"
"ladies first was just a way for u to stare at her ass...wasnt it?"

"TELL ME YOU ARE KIDDING....." I ALMOST SHRIEKED
guys trust me ...given an option to fall in love and fall off a bridge ..choose the latter one ...please....it wont throw stupid logics at u .

"Jaan i am walking away now...and dare u follow me....its just a disaster....its just...stay away...its disgusting ...you have such a dirty mind" and she stormed away
DIRTY MIND??
HELLO??
KNOCK KNOCK? ANY COMMON SENSE LEFT and by the way if u really wanna know about my imagination ITS NOT DIRTY ...ITS SEXY...AND OUT OF YOUR COVERAGE AREA!😤



and now this message and "sorry we cant talk anymore....." AND
1
2
3
WAIT FOR IT
"BLOCKED"


SWAHAAAA!🙏

this new year i have resolved that i am gonna find a girl who
1 loves aloo parantha
2 says "gentlemen first"
3 whose father chacha mama foofa is in some bank....oh cmon ...my soccer league is way too imp to stand in lines....hail modi😀😀




KEEP SMILING GUYS AND DONT FORGET TO ASK YOUR PARTNER
"BABY ARE U JEALOUS?"😎