CONFESSIONS

https://youtu.be/L0MK7qz13bU [BEFORE READING IT PLEASE CLICK ON THE LINK]

So here we are.....finally saying goodbye to the wonderful year that 2015 has been....full of roller coaster rides...
but BULLSHIT .....i am being flooded with questions of my new year resolutions....[ i am seriously hoping that i dont make a stupid idiotic one like losing my weight and increasing my height which has disasterously been shattered due to some technical error in 2015]
one of the main reasons i am not so up funky with new years eve is that from my pre primary classes i always begin to mess up with the date ....i continue writing 1st jan 2015 for instance and keep errorneously committing the same mistake till end of july and when i finally get adapted to write my dates correctly ...BULLSHIT the year ends...what am i supposed to do? screw the calendar?!


so today on the 364th day of the year i have decided to do something crazy [ of course i reamain crazy 260 days ...the rest i spend sleeping and dreaming ]......and trust me i have been contemplating on doing this for the past 1 week ...man it really needs tons of guts
MY CURRENT GUT STATUS : READY TO RUN.....UMM -0.001% OF CONFIDENCE
MY CURRENT HEART STATUS; DO IT


HI [ pls ignore...these are certain ego defense mechanisms i am gonna use throughout...]



F##K ...I CANT DO THIS!
BUT I HAVE TO!



okay......here we go



DEAR TANYA[ sorry for not keeping u anonymous]
for the past 20 years we have been together [ yes i know we are 19 but i am counting the time period when we were shitting in moms womb], and trust me it has been a lot of fun.
u and me from the beginning had hit off [ofcourse barring the time when u and i fought which was 99.9% times] where  me being completely outspoken, always going against people, dancing madly on roads, challenging everyone to have a badminton match, but still being  A DELICATE DARLING [oh yes i remember that]....and you being alwys the-namaste- traditional-type-girl with loads of good manners. And being with you has taught me some of the basic etiquettes too ...
ranging from u, me, mahi being together, to mahi leaving us to shed tears wen she went to kolkata to studying together, going to jain stationery, taking ur pen while u were writing coz i always loved ur pens, to making lame excuses like a cow created a jam or a dog was chasing us wenevr we were late for our tuition classes,to u always teaching me maths while i was crying as i had never prepared for that stupid exam......YOU AND ME WERE ALWAYS TOGETHER....it was like we were meant to be .....but then ONE MISTAKE .....ONE MISUNDERSTANDING CHANGED EVERYTHING....

from the past 4 years we are not meow-moti.....but the formal nishtha-tanya....
and thats because u know the reason and i partially know it.....
tanya...i seriously till date have not been able to cope...because i DO NOT KNOW the complete thing....its like we are together but with a line drawn between us and the problem is that we both are equally scared to cross it....arent we?
i agree i might have done something really stupid to make u this mad at me that we dont even look into each others eyes while speaking  but u too were at fault many a times!
and tanya ....just imagine we were inseparable for infinite years[ i still remember my promise to dance at your wedding and urs to organize my 25th birthday as u r the best planner ever] .......we both were always there for each other and i still believe we still have  a soft corner because friendship like ours can never be broken.....we still get anxious for each other....atleast i do

mumma once told me a story.....
a psychologist entered a room with dozens of potatoes and asked the audience to hold a dozen each if somebody had hurt them and to always keep the bag of potatoes wherever they went and see him after 2 days. after two days the clients came back with aching arms, blue black shoulders and twisted fingers as holding a dozen potatoes all the time was not that easy as they thought...
the psychologist heard their complaints and spoke" look how difficult it was to hold potatoes ...think and introspect how difficult it wud have been for u all to carry on the grudges for years!

it made me realize that the burden we both have been carrying is too long....AND I AM GONNA CHANGE...I KNOW MY EGO IS TOO HIGH...4 YEARS ...WOOF!
BUT NOW I AM GONNA LET IT GO.....I CANT HOLD BACK ANYMORE


yahoooooo....i did it..it was not that difficult...and now i feel so light....CONFESSIONS ARE REALLY BLESSINGS IN DISGUISE

i forgive u and i appologize too....i promise to never ask what made u so sorrowful...i want to start over tanya....i am ready to LET IT GO.....
i luv u buddy and please dont cry....I STILLCARE FOR U
and i am writing this today so that u dont cry on 31st.....i want u to come back running to me [ofcourse like srk!] and hugging me ....i will wait....no questions asked
tomorrow night...ill wait for u moti!
I AM SORRY FOR HURTING U

dear nick,mahima,panav,priya and rachita,
u guys have seriously been there thru all my ups and downs...and i am bloodily possessive about u guys!
thanku so so much....and i promise to stuck by u in times of joy and sorrow...u can always count on me and i will make u smile :)



dear all my college n school buddies,nav,dolly, all mamus mamis,didis,chachus,chachis,bros,sis[ okay i am making it hum saath saath hn type ...sorry han]
u guys have tremendously supported my blog pages,ideas and opinions.
had it not been u guys, i would never have gotten d strength to write
luv u all...stay blessseddd


DEAR SHWETA MAAM
i guess this is the most difficult one!
because wherever i am today is all because of you....u are an inspiration to me....
without u i would never have loved psychology
but maam some things are destined ....and whatever happened i know u blame urself ...please dont...it hurts me the most! u r the bestest teacher and will always remain so
i and panav used to fight over carrying ur belongings
u mean alot to me maam
let the past remain in the past....
just give me ur blessings for the future ..i luv u maam and will always do


dear kittu, anu,tanu
u guys are not just family to me but my bestest buddies....
u have tricked me in various pranks but u r my angels ...
the fun , the laughters , the moments i have with u....are priceless
we may fight all day long but at the end of the day its always a happy ending with us sneaking out to nanis kitchen to bring something to eat!
stay beautiful my girls!



FINALLY
TO THE BESTEST PARENTS IN THE WORLD
i say sorry to u 100 times a day ranging from not picking my shoes to watching tv all day to eat all the chocolates all by myself to fight with kittu over a pencil
reasons are multivariate and diverse but i want u to know WITHOUT U I DONT HAVE A LIFE........UR HAPPINESS MEANS ALOT TO ME
ur lessons,love,scoldings, are so precious
I AM INCOMPLETE WITHOUT U
and i am very sure with ur love NOBODY CAN DRAG ME DOWN



so my this year resolution is to mend all the hearts i have intentionally or accidentally hurt
AND I HAVE TAKEN THE FIRST STEP....WHICH WAS ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT ONE...BUT NOW WHEN ITS OVER...I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER


so this new year....lets make a promise to HEAL ALL THE PAST WOUNDS AND START AFRESH.....LETS SPREAD JOY AND KINDNESS.....coz LOVE CAN TRANSFORM IMPERFECTION INTO PERFECTION

HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!
KEEP DREAMING
KEEP WORKING
KEEP SMILING
STAY BLESSED! :)



[ please leave ur comments...or infact y dont u use this platform to confess something u did...stay anonymous..no issue! let it go guys....LETS CONFESS AND MOVE ON]