DIARY OF AN EMOTIONAL FOOL EPISODE 2

DIARY OF AN EMOTIONAL FOOL

“stop the bloody car now!!”

“ashima whats wrong…atleast tell me…we are in the middle of a moving road for god sake”

“if you wont stop the car…then…”

“ok ok…no thens and whens…..” and I had to stop my car with 5 cars honking behind him

She unlocked the door and ran as fast as she could….for a second even I thought of leaving this crazy girl and go on home but suddenly I noticed that she had left her black Gucci bag ….THAT MEANS SHE INTENDS TO COME BACK

Out of no where I saw ashima coming in faint light from the headlights I had switched on…with a cute smile..[AHHH HER SMILE…MAN…SHIT…FOCUS ARJUN FOCUS…THIS CRAZY LADY SCREAMED AT YOU A FEW MINUTES BACK]….SO there was she….opening the door …she had something TERRIBLY THREATNING TO MY LIFE….BUT WHY WAS SHE PLANNING TO KILL ME? JUST BECAUSE I STARED THROUGH HER WHITE TOP AND FOR WHICH I ALREADY HAD APPOLOGIZED TWICE?!!

Shes gonna kill me……damn….if she doesn’t wanna kill me then why does she has this thing in her hand ‘ A BLOODY KUTTA’….all furry and with big canines gurring as if to pounce on me

“arjun….everything okay?”

LOOK AT THIS LADY MAN…..LOOK AT THE AUDACITY….FIRST SHE SCREAMS AT ME…BLACKMAILS ME INTO STOPPING MY CAR…AND NOW HAS THIS BULLSHIT DOG IN THE HAND AND HAS THE NERVE TO ASK ME THAT WHTHER I WAS OK!!!? BLOODY HELL

“YEAH…YEAH….do you still plan sitting back as 5 cars are almost swearing to kill me behind” I was agitated

She gave out a lil girl laugh “yeah…sorry..sure”

I sat in absolute amusement for the next 5 minutes replaying what the hell just happened…and ofcourse avoiding the death stare the stupid kutta was giving me

“arjun…look I am sorry but look at the poor thing…the small baby would have died if we wouldn’t have stopped…I am really sorry”

“OK THAT’S SWEET, BUT what about THIS BABY HUH? The sardarji behind me had actually reached to a maa behn ka level….” I tried flirting to gain some sympathy

“umm I said sorry I guess….”

“that’s ok…you are gonna take this dog home?”

“of course and don’t call it a dog…please..her name is pikachu”

SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME SHE IS KIDDING…HOWCOME SUCH HOT GIRLS ALWAYS TURN OUT TO BE DUMBASSES…HOW?! BACHPAN ME BOURNVITA NHI PILATI KYA INKI MUMMIE

“OHKAY….hi Pikachu..”I tried sounding cute…

“can I sak you something ashima?”

“yup…sure”

“are you single..?”…I just hope she doesn’t scream this time

“no I am plural” she winked LAME ASHIMA…THAT WAS LAME

“okay ms plural…anyways since u are not so keen answering that question…are u free this Friday? “

“no I am expensive” GOD WHY IS SHE EVEN TRYING SUCH LAME JOKES…I AM ALREADY ATTRACTED TO HER..SHE DOESN’T NEED TODO THAT

“EXCUSE ME?”

“kidding..arjun…yes I am free…we could catch up sometime!”

“COOL….SO HERE ARE WE”

“yeah thanks….arjun” and she began opening the door…I held her hand and tried to be as filmy as possible “allow me”

And like a full stud as I got out of the car to open up the door THE BLOODY PIKACHU SHIT ON ME…..LIKE SERIOUSLY? THE BEST MOMENT OF A GUYS LIFE IS WHEN HES WINNING FIFA OR DROPPING A GIRL HOME LIKE A REAL GENTLEMAN…AND NOW THIS MOMENT WAS SCREWED! LIKE COMPLETELY SCREWED BY THIS KUTTA!…I MEAN BITCH! ARGHHHHH

“HAHHAAAAAA omg…….arjun….i am so sorry”

“its ok ashima…come lemme drop you…”

“that’s alright, ill manage..see you tomorrow”

“see you ashima, take care”

AND I WENT HOME TO HAVE MY DAARU PARTY with ANKUSH AND RAVI

As I entered the room ravi glared at me for not sending ankush out ……I showed him the middle finger and it shut him up…..

After 5 pegs ankush fell asleep and ravi fell pukish so he confessed and finally dilse asked for an apology

“bhai maaf krde I know mai bahut kameena hun ..but trust me teri girlfriend doesn’t love u man…wo tujhse breakup chahti hai…and u know what she came on to me…I didn’t do it “

“bhai chill maar…and forget it….she was never my type…OH AND FOR THE RECORD I DIDN’T SLEEP WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND…SAALA AJ TAK MILWAYA BHI NHI BAS ASHU ASHU KRTA GHOOMTA HAI….”

“BHAI, ashu ne to breakup krlia na….i have nobody now…tera bhai akela hogya hai “ and he puked on my shirt which was already smeared with dog poop

“saale green mango…gaali khaega mujhse…kameene ye shirt tera baap dhoyega?”

“sorry na yaar bhai..le meri green shirt lele,..ashu ne gift kit hi…mere kisi kaam ki nahi..van huesen ki hai lekin..office pehnjaio”

“laa bey…”

And we slept after that….but my mind was continuously trying to figure out how different girls were from us boys….had a girl been in my situation…mr obama had to intervene to stop the cat fight…you see if guys wait for the perfect girl…its all Angelina jolies fault but if a girl waits for the perfect guy…walt Disney takes away the award for creating men and frogs which were loyal, rich,quiet,intelligent and caring an  all in one package…in short IMAGINARY!!!

INFACT I was reading it somewhere in those amazing saheli magazines that my mom reads that if a guy leaves fifa for you in between just to reply you, you should marry him….if that’s the case my girlfriend should have married me by now…but unfortunately she came to know that I never paused the game…UMM..ACTUALLY IT WAS JUST LOADING :P

YOU KNOW TO DESCRIBE MY EX GIRLFRIEND….I DREW THIS IMAGE IN MY MIND

ANYWAYS, I got all drunk, swore on my mom that I didn’t which I have been doing so since my college farewell and ironing my van huesen shirt for the next day I slept ofcourse with ashima in mind!

The next morning I got ready …only to find out that my deo was all empty

“kutte ankush…saraa deo use krlia tune…chal apna de ab…bhai ashima se milna hai”

After using that deo THRICE and checking my hair for the 100^th time I went to the office

AS I ENTERED HOW I WISH I HAD NEVER COME INTO THE OFFICE….WHAT THE HELL WAS HAPPNING…..?

WHAT DID I DO KNOW? ALL MY COLLEAGUES WERE STARING THE SHIT OUT OF ME…AS IF I HAD MURDERED SOMEBODY

‘I didn’t expect this out of you arjun’ a guy over the desk said

“will somebody tell me what is happening?” I was now getting anxious

Everybody looked back onto the chair….ASHIMA WAS SITTING AND SOBBING…WTF?!!!

“arjun, how could you…how could you do this to me?” and raised her hand to slapped me but backed off and started crying…..

WHAT WAS HAPPENING…I HAD NO CLUE….